Me for VP

By Mike Huber

Just to preface this blog, I am not too much of a political person.  For me, the current political scene is an ongoing series of Melrose Place episodes that play out in the background as entertainment. I really don’t give it too much thought otherwise.  For others it seems to be deeply rooted in them to be for one side or the other, even at times they switch sides like when Macho Man became a bad guy in the WWF. At any rate, I wanted to state that prior to this write up.  Enjoy!

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In 2016 I found myself dating a girl I had met on Day 1 in boot camp at Fort Jackson, SC.  Soldiers were still segregated then between male and female, except on KP.  We hit it off and dated for a bit in Fort Gordon, GA as we were both communication specialists.  That faded as I was shipped off to Korea for a year and we lost contact.  Fast forward 23 years or so and we happened to reconnect when we were both living in Seattle.  I was working remotely and she was quite high up in Seattle’s city government.  She was very politically active (as you can imagine being in Seattle).  That was fine and I didn’t give it much notice or bother, and I was always well behaved at dinners with the mayor and the other work functions I tagged along on.

It didn’t take long for her to start pushing me to take my career more seriously and move from being a project manager to higher management positions.  The push wasn’t a bad thing from her perspective I am sure, but I was content where I was. I was great at my job, I could travel, and I had a great team (both on my projects and in my managers).

This didn’t stop her from mentioning at every dinner with friends about her wanting me to take my career to the next level.  The nagging just didn’t end. Quite often when I am being pushed to do something I really don’t want to I either dig my heels in and refuse or… I go FULL into it so obnoxiously that the point comes across pretty clearly as to where I stand. Even as a child if I got in trouble at school (a daily occurrence) my Mom would make be bring wood up from the basement and to protest this more than once I would bring up so much, and stack it so high, that they would need a step ladder to use the top pieces.  For good or bad, my mentality hasn’t changed much over the years and with the girlfriend and her crew constantly nagging me about my career it was time to take action and put this to bed.

It was a Friday evening in 2016 and we had a group of her city workers and their spouses over for dinner. As the conversation drizzled on I was waiting for my moment. As she was telling one of her friends how well I had been behaving the past week, I decided it was time.  I took a knife and softly dinged my wine glass. “I have some big news, guys.  I have formally applied for an upper management position.  Actually, a VP position and I feel I have a great chance here and this can really boost my career.”  Everyone was happy; a few claps even ensued.  I was then asked what company was this VP position in?  I proudly slammed the write up below down on the table while loudly saying “VP OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, BABY!!”

Dear Sir, I would like to apply to be your Vice President in 2024. I am a highly motivated individual with valued skills both in leadership and management which will enable us to lead this country as it has never been led before. My skills have been honed beginning in my youth as a soldier with the 82nd Airborne Division. These skills have only grown throughout my life as a successful graduate of Boston University, and as a leader in the field of project management. Thank you for your consideration and I look forward to working with you to make America great again.

Sincerely,

Michael Huber, PMP

Well, as you can imagine that announcement went over like a fart in church. Nonetheless I stuck with it and doubled down asking if any of them had applied for the VP position.  Of course, none had, so I made it very clear that I now had a better shot than any of them.  Needless to say, I got the reaction I was looking for and my career aspirations were never discussed again.  I accomplished my objective.

Now, in 2024 I find myself currently without a job, so I formally applied yet again and, so far, I have only received the photo reply you see above.  My Dad says I will have to return and work from Washington D.C. if I get the job, but I think as a VP I can be remote and work from abroad (I will negotiate that once I am formally offered the position).  I am expecting either an offer letter in the mail or a phone call in the next week or so.  I will keep you in the loop on how this new career path works out.

Thanks for your support!

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