By Joe Gresh
Among the many crazy conspiracy theories masquerading as knowledge today are the Walmart tunnels. These tunnels supposedly crisscross the nation for the usual nefarious reasons: FEMA camps, New World Order population control and extraterrestrial alien smuggling (to steal your jobs and women). When you stop to think about it, this whole insane, Walmart-tunnel thing is no wackier for Datil than the nearby Very Large Array radio-astronomy telescope.
The VLA was used in a movie about the search for alien radio transmissions. Or was it just a movie? If that doesn’t fire up our odd American mix of gullible/skeptical idiocy nothing will. Like all good conspiracy theories there is a grain of truth to the Walmart-tunnel thing that feeds the plot. New Mexico is full of old mining tunnels so if you look hard enough you’ll find one. Just not the ones owned by Walmart. Those ones are top secret.
Naturally with all the weirdness going on near Datil, GRIN chose to hold its Guzzi motorcycle rally directly over a tunnel leading to Lake Como in Italy. I could hear the water rushing through the tunnels if I put my ear to a Quattro valvole rocker cover.
Finding Moto Guzzis in New Mexico is much harder than finding Walmart tunnels. I can’t recall seeing one on the road or parked up at a Starbucks. My buddy Robert rode his 850 Guzzi out to New Mexico one time but that doesn’t count. Guzzis aren’t super popular anywhere so a rally with 25-ish bikes is something to see. I forgot to add that GRIN stands for Guzzi Riders In New Mexico, the club that put on the show and rally.
Datil consists of an expensive gas station, a motel, a campground and a pretty good restaurant. I’m not sure you could call it a town, it’s more of a traveler’s rest. Behind the motel and gas station you’ll find the campground, and this is where the wrong-way, Italian V-Twins were situated.
The gang of Gizzard riders was an easygoing bunch. It took no time at all before I felt like one of the boys and damned if I didn’t start wanting one of these goofy motorcycles. An unusually high number of rally attendees told me that they had once owned a Kawasaki ZRX like the one I rode to the event. I did 410 miles round trip but there were riders from Texas and Colorado who had traveled much further.
I’m a sucker for high pipes on a street bike so this Scrambler was my favorite of the bunch. Later in the day we went to the Datil restaurant and had a good lunch that totally blew my diet. I had the southwest turkey sandwich and it was smothered in Hatch green chili.
GRIN hosted several dinners for the 3-day rally and there was a Guzzi bike show. Attendees judged the bikes in a people’s choice sort of deal. It was kind of hard to see the entry numbers that were on tiny round stickers applied the Guzzi headlight glass. I didn’t get to vote because I wasn’t actually a member of GRIN. I feel this should invalidate the whole election process and make GRIN a dictatorship.
Late in the afternoon I had to head back to the ranch as I don’t like riding at night. My night vision is much improved since I had cataract surgery but an elk running across the road in front of your 70mph motorcycle takes a lot of seeing.
The seasons are slowly changing here in New Mexico, so it wasn’t unbearably hot on the ride home. Cool, dry air on top of the higher passes made me worry less as the sun set behind me. I pulled into the ranch in full darkness with the ZRX running on all four cylinders. It was like riding in a tunnel.
Nice piece Joe.
Guzzi rallies are fun, and as you noted, the people are always welcoming regardless of the brand of bike you ride in on.
I bought my first Guzzi, a brand new Jackal in Dec. of ’99 at PCS Daytona, a shop that still exists today.
That bike opened up a whole new world for me.
I traveled on it, led sport bike group rides and even did a few trackdays. I sold it a few years later with 72k on the clock (low miles for a Guzzi). I miss it often, along with my old friends in the MGNOC. In those days I went by the handle “Motogeezer” Great memories.
Remember the good ol’ days when Walmart was the ‘evil empire’? (Insert any old large corporation name here) … hold my beer.
I always wanted a Guzzi. Especially one like that black Ambassador in the top photo. Great blog, Joe.
I rode a black Ambassador like the one in the photo. It was a numbing experience. The bike was wooden. Maybe that’s what put me off Guzzi’s.
Don’t spoil it for me, Joe.
Well, you might like numb…
Guzzi’s are a acquired taste for sure, but once you spend sometime on one, you will own one. I have had 3 of them and still have one and its got lots of charm and sounds to make you about them. Living up in Washington state puts a distance from NM but someday I might be lucky enough to make it down there… Cheers
I can’t believe you were in Datil and Pie Town and didn’t stop by.
I hope that you at least made it the 20 miles to Pie Town. Best pies in NM according to them and pretty darn good according to me. I’ve camped several times at Datil Well campground and would highly recommend it.
At Gresh’s recommendation, Sue and I stopped at Pie Town a few years ago. George, we agree. They were great.
Glad to see Berk step up to Guzzi.
Some day. Maybe. I think the only dealer in my area that sells Guzzis is in Glendale, and I know from our experience getting an Enfield from them for the Baja trip that they were terrible.
Nice story. It’s odd you mention that a high percentage of the attendees said they’d owned a ZRX previously. I currently own a ZRX that’s been in my stable for 22 years, but lately I have been thinking a lot about getting a Guzzi. I can think of nothing that would connect ZRX ownership with Guzzi ownership, except maybe ZRX owners might trend towards bikes that provide all-around qualities, that tick those late 70’s/early 80’s boxes, or both 😳
I generally pass through that zone once a year going cross country, but my usual stop is Quemado at the Largo. That road is an excellent ride going either direction, but going west can be a morning fully or overly insulated and with winter gloves and by afternoon as you get downhill closer to Phoenix, rain overlay is off, all mesh open on jacket/pants, summer gloves and a wet kerchief around your neck that dries out every fifteen minutes. The Largo Motel also has decent coffee shop / diner attached.
D,
This is true. I came through in April heading for Chandler, it was 29 degrees at 9am with ice on the sest. By the time I made it to Chandler it was 85 degrees.
Beautiful ride on highway 60.
There are plenty of Guzzi’s in New MexUFO if you know how to attract them. I used to spend a lot of time out there an ran into them all the time. Datil is a nice place to hold a rally, right out in the middle of nowhere.