Tag: Chevy Suburban

A Man’s Got To Know His Limitations

By Joe Gresh

The famous line was from a Clint Eastwood movie, I think, but regardless it rings true for me as I ease into my salad years. Or is that my pabulum years? Recently I did a few simple mathematical equations and then ran the results through my life expectancy chart. The results were not encouraging. I would need to live another 124 years, 7 months to complete all the projects I’ve started. That’s if I didn’t gain any additional projects in the ensuing 124 years. Unfortunately, the projects still drift in by ones and twos. It’s time I got to know my limitations.

I was building the driveway retaining wall at The Ranch when the epiphany came. I looked around at the tools spread around the front yard, the stack of lumber and the pallets of concrete and decided that there was just no way to do it all and that I needed to shed a few projects. At least get them off my books. The low hanging fruit was first to go.

The 1974 MGB-GT was a candidate because I haven’t spent much money on it yet and it’s a huge, time consuming proposition. It needs many, many manhours and truthfully I never really wanted a MGB-GT anyway. It was just on the land when we bought the place and I thought it was a cool looking car. I bandied about about selling it but the prospect of wading through all the Internet scammers and tire kickers didn’t appeal to me. My buddy Mike from the Carrizozo Mud Chuckers expressed an interest in the car so I made him a deal he couldn’t refuse: I gave it to him.

Before you get all wound up and start telling me how you would have given me $500 for the car I have this to say: “No, you wouldn’t.” Just like you wouldn’t buy a Janus if it had an American made V-twin engine or an electric car if it went 100 miles further on a charge. Mike has a trailer that fit the MBG perfectly and we loaded it up using two come-alongs in series. With 3 flat tires it took about a half-hour to move the car 20 feet. Inches add up to miles and the blue, MGB is now residing 69 miles away at Mud Chuckers central. Seeing the car roll off the property gave me a real lift. It’s like I bought an extra year of my life.

The next thing to go was the KLR250. When I had the Love Shack in Florida the KLR was the bike I left in the shed. Whenever we were in residence the KLR faithfully dragged me around central Florida. It wasn’t fast but I could hold 70mph on the highway if there wasn’t a headwind. The KLR sat as we moved junk across the country and then sat in the shed here at The Ranch for a few years. You know how that goes. The carb gummed up and it wouldn’t start.

I decided to sell the bike but first I had to fix the front brake, fork seals and replace the front tire. After accomplishing those chores I wandered off to construction projects and the KLR languished. The final straw was when I skipped over the KLR250 to get the ZRX1100 running. I realized that the liquid-cooled 6-speed enduro bike had fallen completely off the to-do list.

Mike came to the rescue again and picked up the KLR250 for a cool 1000 dollars and dragged it back to his place. He has since replaced the stock constant velocity carb with a Mikuni clone off of Amazon and the bike starts and moves under its own power again. The new carb is jetted too rich so there’s a bit more fettling to be done but I won’t be doing it.

Having those two projects out of the way emboldened me to get rid of more junk. The Bomber is on the chopping block. I originally bought the Bomber for its running gear. I planned to put the Bomber’s small block Chevy and ½ ton running gear into Brumby (the Jeep). But the Bomber was so handy for hauling concrete the Jeep swap never took place. CT signed me up for a Lowes card and with the card Lowes will deliver anything to The Ranch for $20. This means no more concrete hauling and no need for the Bomber along with the Bomber’s tags and insurance.

I’ve got a few things to fix on the Bomber but I think I can get $1500 or so for the beast and that will be another project off my books and another year of my life back.

The trend line is clear to see: Stuff not getting used is going away. The 1975 Kawasaki 900 isn’t even safe now that the ZRX1100 is running. It has become too valuable and selling it would enable me to finish a few other projects, like my Honda 50 with a 140cc Lifan motor. Zed mostly sits because the purple Yamaha RD350 has taken over top spot in the vintage street bike category. I can only ride so many motorcycles at once.

You may say I’m getting lazy or maybe just old but I say I’m being realistic. There are still a few old motorcycles I’d like to own and clearing the decks is a time-honored tradition for normal people. Anyone need a Huffy beach cruiser with a 60cc two-stroke motor attached? It’s too fast downhill and too slow uphill. The thing is going to kill me if I don’t get rid of it.

More on the Gresh Resurrections!

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The Bomber

Gearheads Road Trip stopped by Tinfiny Ranch to say hello. The poor guy ran right into a concrete pour as is likely to happen any time you visit our mountain lair.  Nothing stops mud, least of all visitors, so we trundled off to the Big Box store to pick up some concrete.

Lowes has a price break if you buy 70 bags of concrete or more. That ends up being 3500 pounds and the Bomber, my 1990 1/2-ton Suburban groans under the weight. The rear leaf springs invert to frowns and the truck sways down the highway alarmingly. You want to keep it around 45mph.

3500 pounds was a bit nerve wracking on the twisty mountain roads so I’ve since developed a new plan: I order two pallet loads of concrete which gets me to the 70 bag discount but I take the pallets home one at a time.  2800 pounds is a lot easier to haul, and the Bomber totes it nicely with no sway issues. You still don’t want to make any drastic maneuvers, though.

The 1990 Suburban was an oddball, the last year of the straight front axle 4×4. That axle, kind of like a Dana 44, was upgraded a bit for 1990 making it a one-year deal. It’s got the manual locking hubs, 6-bolt wheels and leaf springs. For a 1/2-ton ride it’s a real Dream Axle if you’re into that sort of stuff.

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What Do You Have In Your Project Bank?

There are more ways to measure wealth than money. Sure, traditionalists rely on a strict net worth approach, adding up the figures on electronic statements in a system where the winner is whoever has the highest number. You can count all sorts of things, though. You can count friends, you can count grandchildren, you can count experiences: These are forms of wealth that won’t show up on that balance email from the bank.

When it comes to future projects I am a very wealthy man. I’ve got them lined up out the door and around the corner. And my account keeps growing; with compound interest my Project Bank doubles every seven years. Most of these projects will never see the light of day but they remain secure in my thoughts, if not in my actions.

On of my largest assets is the 4-speed Suburban project. When I bought the ’90 ‘Burb it came with a malfunctioning automatic transmission. I hate automatics and malfunctioning ones even more so. The 700R4 works in Drive and Reverse but not in 1-2-3. The truck runs fine and it will tote a 3000-pound load without complaint but that boring automatic has got to go. It’s a rare Suburban that came with a 4-speed from the factory and even rarer to see a ½-ton version. I’ve only seen one 4-speed ‘Burb and it was ¾-on. This project keeps earning interest and I’ve been training a weather eye on Internet sale sites for a cheap, manual transmission, 4X4 GM truck to steal the guts from. I found a late model, 4X4-IFS 1/2-ton truck with a 5-speed and a nice FI engine that ran well but the transfer case and transmission housing were broken and besides everything was on the wrong side for the old straight axle suburban.

The chalky blue, 1974 MG GT came with Tinfiny Ranch and was listed as an out building on the deed. This car was on the chopping block until I started reading about MG’s with Buick 215 cubic-inch aluminum engine swaps. I really have to stay off the internet. The Buick engine triples the horsepower, doesn’t weigh much more than the iron 4-banger it replaces and sounds cool as hell revved up to 6000 RPM. This is one asset I kind of wish was not in my Project Bank as I’ve never been that interested in cars. Still, it’s there waiting on me.

Tinfiny Ranch itself is a huge source of endless work, but beyond the physical plant The Ranch continues to deposit surprises into my Project Bank. This Merry Tiller project revealed itself as I was hauling away two, multi-panel garage doors. The doors sections were stacked with spacers in the popular rat-paradise fashion and I gave chase to a couple fat rats but they got away from me in the thick brush down by the ravine. The Merry Tiller looks like it will come in handy for the raised-bed vegetable garden (yet another deposit in The Project Bank) I’m planning for the back yard. The engine on the tiller is not stuck and being a Briggs & Stratton I’m sure it will run so I’m leaving it in The Bank for safe keeping.

I will never be bored or lonely. My Project Bank is overflowing with cool things that need time and attention. After I level the back yard I’m going to build a shear wall for the shed, then I need to get back on the Zed. After that I’d like to pop a 6-cylinder + AX15 transmission into Brumby the Jeep. The Suburban needs new paint; I’m going to change it from black to white so it will be cooler inside. Better yet I’ll fix the air-conditioner, it’s all there except for the compressor. I really need a second rain barrel, too, as I’m leaving water on the table with only 2500 gallons of storage.

The projects pile one atop the other and the magnitude of the undertaking gives me a great sense of importance. When I die I want to be buried like a Viking in his ship except my grave will be filled with all the unfinished projects that kept me company while I was alive. You really can take it with you, mainly because no one else wants your junk.

My Other Ride: The Bomber

I saw the advertisement for The Bomber in our local Holloman Bookoo website. Holloman Bookoo is like Craigslist but more local. There may be other BooKoo sites but I haven’t searched for them because the stuff for sale is too far away. This story gets a bit complicated but I was searching for a drive train to scavenge for Brumby, my Jeep YJ.

The Bomber, a half-ton 1990 4X4 GMC Suburban, had 3:73 axles, a running throttle-body fuel-injected small-block engine and was the last year of the solid front axle Suburbans. 1989 and 1990 were odd years for Suburbans because the rest of GM’s truck line changed body styles in 1988. For some reason the Suburban didn’t make the cut and soldiered on with the classic Square Body until joining the rest of the gang in 1991. Except for logos, the Chevy and GMC versions are pretty much exactly alike.

The Bomber’s half-ton, six-lug front axle is GM’s take on a Dana 44. I watched a Dirt Every Day video that said 1989/1990 models received axle shaft upgrades and were maybe a bit better than the D44. All this was good news for Brumby because the transmission had lost a gear and the little YJ desperately needed more power.

The Bomber’s owner wanted $1800. I drove the big beast around and offered him $1500. It was too easy; did I leave money on the table? CT (my wife) was a little unsure about my plan to strip out the Bomber for a pie-in-the-sky plan to boost the Jeep’s power. The worst time to plan an engine-axle swap is when you have no place to work and are trying to find a house to live in so I put the ménage on the back burner and busied myself with the mundane tasks of life.

The old GMC ran well and I started using it to haul materials. The thing had crazy stiff springs on the rear axle: I could load 2 tons without the axle bottoming out. The 350 small-block, while no powerhouse, could pull the grade to my house without exploding into bits. The door sticker says “Built Flint Tough” and they mean it. The added advantage of a low-range transfer case and four-wheel drive meant I could haul a 10,00 pound, concrete mixer with a yard and a half of mud up Tinfiny’s steep, slippery driveway.

The Bomber came with a custom paint job that could not have been more out of place. It was shocking. CT recommended I cover over the Starsky & Hutch themed wagon if I ever wanted her to ride in the thing. It took less than a quart of BBQ black to roll over the offending stripes. Not that it looks good now, but at least people run away slower.

Shod with smallish but almost new 31” tires, the bomber looked a little cheesy in the tire division. Bigger, 33” tires that would fill the wheel wells were ordered from Wal-Mart. Just like that the Bomber’s value doubled. I put the 31” tires on Brumby the Jeep. Remember the Jeep? The reason I bought the Bomber?

The thing is, a Suburban is handy as hell to have around. I can load it up with bags of concrete or building materials and everything stays dry. We went camping in the beast; there’s over 8 feet of room for bedding if you fold the seats down. The body is dented but rust free. I use the ‘Burb for garbage dump runs and to scare people.

I’ve grown attached to the Bomber. You’ll hear no more talk of swapping drive trains. In fact a whole new list of projects has been created. I need to remove all the interior plastic and rugs from the passenger doors rearward because it’s too hard to keep clean. I want the cargo area bare metal so I can hose it out. The stupid wooden overhead console has to go because I keep hitting my head on the edge. Then the automatic transmission needs to be swapped out for a 4-speed manual. I can’t stand automatics. It’ll need a decent paint job at some point and a roof rack with one of those tents on top.

Worst of all I’m still on the lookout for a V-8 drive train to swap into the Jeep.

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