Joe Gresh

Bonnier Kills Motorcyclist Magazine

The distance from being read in the crapper and actually being in the crapper is a short one. According to Dealer News, Motorcyclist magazine crossed that span this week. I’m not happy about it. In fact, I’m well pissed-off. Over 100 years of print publication down the tubes. I was a part of that glorious history for 10 years. MC mag was always my favorite. They had Burns, they had Boehm, they had Frank and they had that crazy kid that kept crashing GSXR’s. MC mag was way cooler and funnier than stodgy old corporate-Cycle World. When I first decided to submit motorcycle stories for publication MC mag was the only place I submitted to.

Bonnier bought most of the USA’s larger motorcycle magazines a few years back and instead of finding a way they have shuttered magazine after magazine. They’ve managed to turn the largest motorcycle enthusiast’s print group into a damn Internet blog. What a stunning waste of money. Bonnier is supposed to be the experts. The much-touted single-source vertical integration has become a major horizontal screw-up. Thanks guys. Thanks for screwing up nearly everything I liked about your books.

Not that there’s anything wrong with a blog (you’re reading this one), but a hard copy is forever and we motorcyclists need a permanent record of our existence. Besides, Motorcycle.com does the Internet better than anyone and they have Burns to boot. Vendor sites like Revzilla and Twisted Throttle are doing a great job reviewing what they sell and in-house sites like Indian, Hog and BMW keep us up to date on the latest models. I’m saying we’re covered: The world does not need a rump-Motorcyclist magazine spewing cheesy sponsored content on the Internet. The world needs the real thing.

Bonnier’s press release tries to spin the magazine’s closure in the best possible light citing MC’s huge social media reach. Most of those puffy numbers are a direct result of Brian Hatano’s work years ago and Ari/Zack’s well done YouTube channel. Anyway, as Berk and I have learned, Facebook friends do not equal views. When a page with a million-plus followers puts up an interesting post and gets two comments, I’m telling you the reach is just not there. I get more response from a post about adobe blocks.

Yeah, I’m angry at Bonnier. Not only for firing Jack Lewis and me (in their defense, we weren’t exactly killing it) but also for doggedly sticking with a failed process. Chris Cantle and the new crew were doing a good job with the magazine’s content but the masthead was bloated with salaries and middlemen making it a struggle to pay off the ossified blob smothering their best efforts. You could have given Cantle three guys, an art director and one ad salesman and they would have done just as well, and maybe even turned a profit.

Mixing Cycle World and Motorcyclist diluted both brands and the titles became a slurry of interchangeable writers. Competition between the two formal rivals became cooperation: It didn’t seem to matter who wrote what. The magazines lost their personality and sense of humor. They wrote like they knew they were doomed.

Instead of charging what it costs to produce the magazine like American Iron and other smaller operations, Bonnier stuck with trying to pay for the magazine with advertising and giving the book away free to create a large subscriber base. This stupid-ass method changes the customer base from the reader to the advertiser. And the readers knew it. Charge $29 a year for 12 issues and write to me, damnit!

I don’t know. Maybe nothing would have worked. To me it seems like Bonnier gave up. Instead of raising rates they gave up. Instead of publishing 12 times a year no matter what they gave up. Instead of building reader loyalty with old school give-away items like stuff bags, key fobs and T-shirts they gave up. Readers, just like writers, love to see their stuff in print. That positive interaction was killed when they got rid of the letters to the editor page. If Bonnier group doesn’t care what we think, why should we care what they think?

Nimble, focused magazines that charge what they cost to produce seem to be doing ok for the moment. Their subscriber numbers might be lower but the numbers are real and they make money. It might be as simple as charging more for the product. The hated Cycle World is still publishing today, barely, and what they are doing is not working. Unlike Motorcyclist, it’s not too late for Cycle World. The question is whether Bonnier Corp has the will power to attempt something different and well proven, or give up like they have done so many times in the past.

Adobe Construction: Dirt Cheap!

It takes 60 shovelfuls to fill the adobe mixer. Originally designed for mortar, the outside drum of our mixer looks like an inverted lunar landscape. Dimples as large as a quarter, back when a quarter was worth 25 cents, protrude far enough to run afoul of the mixer’s I-beam chassis. It’s the rocks, see? Mixing adobe eats up the rubber wiper blades on the paddles and as the gap between the blade and the drum grows larger things start going south. When the gap grows large enough the mixer paddles wedge into the rocks and a sharp pop, like someone hit the machine with a 16-pound sledgehammer, is followed by a lurch of the heavy machine. Another dimple has been created. If the conditions are just right the mixer blades will lock up solid and it takes a quick hand on the clutch lever to prevent a smoking V-belt.

I’m telling you this now because when the machine is running it’s so loud conversation is impossible. Big Pappy and I are mixing mud and filling wheel buggies with adobe for blocks. Pappy’s arms are as big around as my legs. Those protruding dimples rubbing the chassis make rotating the hopper to dump mud a two-man operation. We push so hard we nearly tip the machine on its side. Big Pappy nods, which I take to mean push harder. It doesn’t. The handle slams Pappy upside the head and he gives me a murderous look. “What the hell are you doing? I told you to stop.” I’ve only been on the job an hour and I’m already injuring my coworkers.

With adobe mixing the show must go on so Pappy and I work in silence. Not total silence though, because we have to keep count of how many shovels we are throwing into the hopper. “I’m at 13,” I tell Pappy. “15” for me, Pappy replies. The mixer locks up, I grab the clutch. We move loaded buggies to the block-making area then we shovel more dirt into the hopper. Soon the injury is forgotten. “Is that good?” “More water.” Pappy says. “4 more shovelfuls.” “Ok, that’s good. Let’s let it mix” Pappy feels bad about yelling at me, I feel bad for hurting Pappy. We are a team again. I’ve got to be more careful working around others.

Buggies full of the sticky clay, sand and straw mixture that makes up an adobe block are dumped into 2-block forms and smoothed by hand. We have plenty of willing helpers because this is a New Mexico Humanities Council program created to teach the traditional ways of adobe construction (nmhumanities.org). After 2 full days of class a student will come away with a sore back and respect for the ones that came before.

We make adobe block after adobe block. Pat Taylor, our maestro of mud has more than a little Tom Sawyer in him as he makes the hard work of mixing and pouring adobe seem like fun. Several hundred blocks later we have filled up much of the parking lot. After a month of baking in the sun the blocks will be so hard that it takes a solid blow from a hammer to fracture them.

“Who wants to give it a try?” Pat asks and several would-be adobe builders jump in and start laying blocks. Instead of cement mortar, more mud is used to set the Adobe blocks. I’m cutting a bevel into the blocks to create a space for small volcanic rocks. The rocks are fitted into the bevels and held in with a white lime mortar. Once these protruding rocks are set the lime plaster will adhere to the rocks, hopefully keeping the plaster from sloughing off the wall.

Amazingly, we make a pretty decent looking wall. The lime plaster hides all manner of sin and if you can keep the rain off of your adobe wall the thing will last several centuries.

There’s another, even older method of finishing adobe walls borne from necessity: More mud. Mud plaster doesn’t last as long as lime plaster but if you don’t have lime what’s a poor boy to do? Think of mud plaster as a sacrificial coating. It erodes so that the adobe blocks underneath don’t. Mud plaster is applied by hand or trowel, and re-applied every few years as needed. As Pat’s students, we got to try all application methods with special emphasis on the difficult ones.

The mortar, the blocks, the plaster, everything except the lime was made from a mixture of clay, sand and straw. Only the ratios varied depending on what you were using it for. And they didn’t vary all that much. Adobe uses the simplest building material, dirt, and combines it with human muscle to fashion living spaces. It’s the oldest building material yet adobe techniques will likely see use in future human settlements anywhere dirt is plentiful, the land is inhospitable and a Home Depot is far, far away.

Ascot AMA Nationals

In San Diego I lived across the street from a Safeway food market. Man, I never ran out of anything. That Safeway is now a West Marine boat supply store. They got nothing to eat in the whole damn place. But back then, around 1980, it was a great food source.

In my pad I had a tiny refrigerator with one of those wine-in-a-carton things inside. My buddy Mark found it in the road, not far from the house. Nobody I knew drank wine, or at least that wine. There was a perforated cardboard section that you knocked out and inside was a hose that connected to the plastic sack of wine. It was practical as hell, like a battery acid container. The hose had a shut off thingy, you kind of rolled the shut off onto a ramp until it pinched the hose closed. The wine tasted bad. Maybe it got hot in the sun out in the street. No telling how long it was there before Mark found it. Whenever anyone would drop by I’d ask if they wanted some wine, that’s what adults do. It was still in the fridge a few years later when I moved away.

I’d leave my one bedroom, one bath rental house on Point Loma’s Locust Street around 5pm. My bike was a 1968 electric-start XLH Sportster converted to kick start. Because electric kickers are for Honda riders, man. From Point Loma I’d reel onto Interstate 5 and roll the throttle on, lane splitting for 15 miles to Gene’s house in Mira Mesa. Back then every subdivision in San Diego sounded like one of the wooden sailing ships that discovered America: The Nina, The Rancho Bernardo and The Santa Antiqua. I guess they still name California things that way. Streets are Calles or Avenidas. Townhouses are called Don Coryells, after a football coach.

Gene had a 1973 Sportster, the one with the crude looking steel bar bent into a U-shape to secure the top shock absorber mounts. The result of AMF cost cutting. My older Sporty had a beautiful cast part welded into the frame tubes performing the same function. You couldn’t see either one once the seat was installed but I knew it was there. Gene knew it too. Gene was my wing man, my BFF. We used to drink in bars and shoot pool after work. It was nothing to stay up late at night, I only needed a few hours sleep. In those years Harley-Davidson motorcycles had a terrible reputation. Their riders were no prize either. We liked the way the bikes sounded and the way they looked.

California traffic was just as bad in 1980 as is today. We lane split all the way to Oceanside where the northbound traffic would thin out for 30 miles or so then lane split to the 405 and past the “Go See Cal” auto dealership. Cal’s dog Spot was a lion. He was featured in Worthington Ford television ads. It was nerve wracking bumper to bumper riding all the way til dusk and the exit for Ascot park Raceway.

I saw my first Ducati Darmah in the parking lot at Ascot. It was the most beautiful bike I’d ever seen. The squared off crankcases were works of art. Our iron-head Harleys looked like civil war relics next to the Darmah. Like Genus Rattus, man. I didn’t envy the Ducati. I was still a hard core Harley guy. Pretty don’t mean nuttin’ to us. Fast, reliable motorcycles are for the weak. I still feel that way.

I may have this wrong but Ascot held two AMA Grand National races each year. Every race I went to was advertised as the final race because the track was closing to be sold. This went on for 12 years until the track really did sell. One National was a standard flat track race and one National was a TT, which is a standard FT track with a bump and a right hand turn. Usually by the time Gene and I got up there the heat races had already started.

Ascot wore its years well. The stands were uncomfortable and crowded. AMA Nationals are big deals. The restrooms were dungeons. We would eat bad food and drink beer and watch the best racing anywhere until 11pm at night. Being part of the hundreds of motorcycles leaving Ascot was a real thrill. The riders were fired up from the racing and we rolled it on to 405 and then 5 to the El Toro Road exit and the Bob’s Big Boy restaurant. Bob’s was a tradition for AMA Nationals. The burgers were small and nearly tasteless, the little triangle salads were frozen and the fries were thin as shim stock. Bob’s was a good place to feed your Genus Rattus.

Because we were riding so late, no matter what the time of year it was always cold on the way home from Ascot. Long, empty stretches of interstate 5 stuffed each gap in your leather jacket with a chilling, low hanging fog. The cold would quiet your mind. Focus on your breathing now, keep still, those iron engines loved the cold. I could see Gene’s Sportster chuffing away in the dark, tiny glints of chrome primary case flashed in sync with my wobbling headlight. Both our Sportsters ran straight pipes and Interstate 5 sounded like the back straight of Ascot. Except we never chopped the throttle.

South of La Jolla the air temperature would rise and dropping off 5 onto Rosecrans Street wrapped sea-warmth around my body. I loved that part of the ride. The shivering was over, I could smell ocean smells. My muscles relaxed. This early in the morning Rosecrans is deserted, I have to run the red lights because the sensors in the pavement cannot pick up motorcycles. The only sound is my 900cc Sportster slowly rowing through the gearbox, rumbling home.

Canon S100 Review

The only camera that survived our 40-day, Zongshen RX3 China tour was the one inside my cell phone. My Canon 5D, that weighs a ton, broke its battery door and the 28-135 zoom lens actually fractured and stopped zooming. It sounds like the gears inside are broken. Both were inside a padded camera bag and the bag was wrapped in extra clothing. Don’t let anyone tell you we didn’t pound on those Zongshen RX3’s.

My go-to travel camera, a little Canon S95, also could not survive the rough Chinese trails we explored. The S95 suffered a broken screen and refused to boot up due to a broken top plate. Again, this camera was in my jacket pocket and not rattling around in a bag. We ride hard, you know?

Back in the USA the 5D battery door was an easy $7 fix. The 28-135 zoom lens is still broken and the parts to fix it are nearly as much as a used lens. I may not even replace it as I’ve gotten away from hauling the big 5D on motorcycle trips. It’s a great camera that takes beautiful pictures but magazines and web sites do not require technically perfect photos, only interesting subjects.

The Little S95, by dint of its size was harder to fix. I bought a new top switch plate for $14 and using a microscope, replaced the part without damaging a lot of other parts in the process. To my surprise the little camera booted up and would take photos. The broken screen was slightly annoying but the worse problem was that the front ring did not work anymore. The S95 really needs that ring to operate correctly. I’m pretty sure I broke the ring in the process of installing the top switch. These tiny digital cameras pack a lot of components into a tiny space. Fixing them is nothing at all like concrete work. The S95 was consigned to the busted camera drawer.

Joe Berk and I recently went to Mexico to road test the new Royal Enfield 650 and that trip convinced me that I needed a decent point and shoot camera. The cell phone camera is great but there were times I needed zoom but didn’t feel like digging out the big camera. I wanted a pocket DSLR.

Back to the busted camera drawer and the S95 I went. The parts to fix the screen and the front ring switch cost around $50. Add to that the $14 I had already spent, and the fact that I would probably end up breaking something else while fixing the S95, and things were looking glum for my S95. The little beat up Canon is a great shooter and I’ve had two-page spreads published in magazines with it, so while I hated to give up on an old friend I began to look for a used, working S95.

Prices for used S95’s hover around $100 for a fairly straight, functioning example. The funny thing is the next generation model, the S100, was the same price as the older unit. With a wider and longer lens and a much faster processor than the S95 the only thing making me hesitate was the S100’s bad reputation for a lens error glitch. When the glitch hits the lens stays extended and the machine refuses to take photos. So it’s kind of a major glitch, you know? Here you can see the extra bit of S100 (left) vs S95 (right) wide angle.

Here you can see the extra bit of zoom. S100 on left.

I researched the camera forums and found some S100 owners never have the lens error and of those that did a ribbon wire falling out of its socket was the cause for most of the failures. So I bit on a sweet 100-dollar, S100 that looks like brand new and seems to function perfectly.

The S100 boots up noticeably faster than the S95 but I am never in that much of a hurry. It will burst a bunch of shots faster than the old model. This may come in handy for action shots. The wide-angle lens is only noticeable when comparing both cameras side by side. When it comes to photography, more is always better. I’m happy with the little S100 and can’t wait to try it out on a motorcycle trip. If I ever go on another motorcycle trip, that is.

The Wall

Here at ExhaustNotes.us we are all about the motorcycle, with a smattering of gunplay and interesting adventure destinations thrown in to keep the place hopping. But what if there were no bikes, adventures or bullets? What then? Keep reading and I’ll tell you what then, Bubba.

Concrete, my friends, and the mixing of it is the solution to a lackluster moto-life. Dusty and powder soft with an aggregate backbone, believe in it and concrete will provide. Trust in it and it will repay you a thousand times. The grey dust keeps me going because lately I haven’t been riding motorcycles or watching Emma Peel on YouTube so there’s nothing to write about except the grey dust. The grey dust keeps me hoping for some far-off, much better two-wheeled days. Think of this as an ExhaustedNotes blog.

Situated in the steep-ish foothills of the Sacramento Mountains, Tinfiny Ranch is slowly bleeding into the arroyo, you know? You put down your cold, frosty beer and the next thing you know your Stella is halfway to White Sands National Monument. On the lee side of The Carriage House we’ve lost a good 18-inches of mother earth because while it doesn’t rain often in New Mexico when it does rain it comes down in buckets. This sudden influx of water tears through Tinfiny Ranch like freshly woken kittens and sweeps everything in its path down, down, down, into the arroyo and from there on to the wide, Tularosa Valley 7 miles and 1500 feet below. Claiming dominion over the land is not as easy as they make it sound.

So I put the motorcycles away and took a cudgel to Tinfiny. I pounded, I dug, I formed and I poured. I am building a wall and Mexico has not stepped up to the plate with the promised assistance. The thing has grown to 70 feet long and varies in elevation from a foot to 4 feet high. Repetition has honed my skills: I can do 8-feet of wall every two days and the days stretch on and on. I figure I’ll stop when I run into the Pacific Ocean.

After the wall is up the resulting divot will require filling with dirt. I have lots of dirt on Tinfiny Ranch; the conundrum is where to borrow it from without causing even more erosion. I’m hoping that leveling the back yard will provide most of the needed fill.

I’ve made the wall porous to keep water from backing up behind it and poured L braces in an attempt to keep the wall from toppling over. The beauty of the wall is that it will work in any orientation. I’m nearly ready to start the slow process of dumping dirt and compacting it 6-inch layer by 6-inch layer until the land is even with the top of the wall. At that point the floodwaters should flow over the wall spilling into the arroyo. Unless, of course, the hill becomes so saturated that the entire wall slips into the arroyo. And I become one of those questing specters drifting the canyons wailing my banshee wail, never resting, never finding peace.

Silver and Red

Most all of the fun things we did as little kids were instigated by my Grandparents. Between raising four kids and working constantly to pay for the opportunity our parents were left spent, angry and not that into family-time trips. We did try it a few times but it seems like the trips always ended with someone crying, my parents arguing or a small child missing an arm. With only 16 limbs between us we had to be careful and husband our togetherness for fear of running out.

Things were very different with Gran and Gramps. We were allowed to sleep over every weekend during which we attempted to destroy their house and any of their valuable keepsakes not made from solid iron. Maybe because of our destructiveness they acted as if they liked taking us on adventures. Camping with one hundred million mosquitos at Fish Eating Creek, going to The Monkey Jungle where the people are in cages and the apes run free, and picnics at Crandon Park beach were commonplace events. We had it made.

Twice a year Gramps would take us to Daytona for the stock car races. This was back when the cars resembled production models and ran modified production engines. There was none of this Staged racing or Playoffs. We went to Daytona to see the race. It didn’t matter to us who had the most points or won the season championship because Daytona was a championship all by itself. If you asked the drivers of that era to choose between winning the Daytona 500 or winning all the other races on the schedule I bet you’d have some takers for the 500.

We always bought infield tickets. Camping at the Daytona Speedway was included with infield tickets so we immersed ourselves in the racing and never had to leave. Gramps had a late 1960’s Ford window van with a 6-cylinder, 3-on-the-tree drivetrain. The van was fitted out inside with a bed and had a table that pivoted off the forward-most side door. To give us a better view of the racing Gramps built a roof rack out of 1” tubing. The rack had a ¾” plywood floor and was accessed via a removable ladder that hung from the rack over the right rear bumper.

At each corner and in between the corners of the roof deck were short tubes that a rope railing system fitted inside. Metal uprights slid into the short tubes and were secured by ¼-20 nuts and bolts. Rope was strung through the uprights and snugged making for a passable handrail. The railing was an attempt to keep little kids from falling off the roof of the van. Once the ladder was in place and the railing installed we would bring up chairs and a cooler. A portable AM radio provided a running commentary of the race progress. We took turns listening. It was a wonderful way to watch the races.

Back then Gramps was in what we call his silver and red period, not to be confused with his red and green period. Everything he built in that era was painted either silver or red. For some reason Gramps preferred a bargain basement silver paint that dried into a soft, chalky coating that never really hardened. The whole roof deck was painted silver except for the sockets that the uprights fitted into. Those were painted red. The stark contrast made it easy to locate the sockets.

When you would climb the ladder to the upper deck your hands would pick up silver paint. If you sat on the deck your pants would turn silver. If you rubbed your nose like little kids do your nose would turn silver. It was like Gramps painted the deck with Never-Seez. After a full day of racing we looked like little wads of Reynolds Wrap.

Our camp stove was a two-burner alcohol fueled unit that, incomprehensibly, used a glass jar to contain the alcohol. Even to my 10 year-old eyes the thing looked like a ticking time bomb so I kept my distance while gramps lit matches and cussed at the stove.

The alcohol stove took forever to light, requiring just the perfect draft. The slightest breeze would extinguish the flame. Once lit it didn’t make much heat. Our eggs were always runny and cold. It took 3 hours to cook bacon. The plates Gramps passed out to our tiny silver hands were made from aluminum. Any residual background heat remaining from the Big Bang was quickly transferred from the food to plate ensuring everything was uniformly gross.

Gramps found great pleasure in our complaints about his food. He would smile and chuckle at us if we asked for our eggs hot. When we wished aloud for Granny to be there to make the food he really got a belly laugh. He prided himself on cooking poorly. I never understood why we had the stove in the first place. Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches would have been a lot easier and way more appetizing.

After the races were over it took forever to clear the infield. We took our time breaking down the upper deck, putting away the camping chairs and the stove and coating every surface we came in contact with a fine, silver dusting of color. I don’t know why I remember these things so clearly. It must be that silver paint, that chalky texture. I can close my eyes and feel the dry, talc-like residue on my hands even now.

Flippers

In all passions you will find lovers and users. The vintage motorcycle passion, looking backwards towards a rose-tinted youth seems to have more than its share of both. Most vintage motorcycle enthusiasts are into the hobby because they either had a particular model or dreamed of owning a particular model way back when they were freshly weaned from the teat of childhood. Powerful first impressions drill that Yamaha RT1 or Kawasaki Z1B into a youngster’s brain like the clean, soapy scent of their first girlfriend’s hair.

Dreamers will spare no expense to make the fantasy whole, a living breathing relic of their past that they can ride today. The sounds of an old two-stroke twin can bring tears; the fierce kickback from an ancient thumper calls forth the rare, crystal clear memory along with an aching foot. When the time comes that they must sell their pride and joy to pay for an assisted living facility, Dreamers care about the motorcycle going to a good home, to someone who will appreciate the motorcycle as much as they did.

Not so the Flipper. The Flipper sees everything in dollars and cents. His only concern is extracting the maximum amount of cash from the Dreamers. The Flipper appears to share our enthusiasm and in fact may be knowledgeable about old motorcycles but his is a clinical, product knowledge. The Flipper could be selling Pokémon cards or Barbie dolls still in the original packaging and feel nothing for any of it.

The Flipper, egged on by TV shows glorifying the act of preying on the uneducated, scavenges the countryside looking for old motorcycles to buy at below market rates. Or steal in real terms. He then raises the price to astronomical levels and pops the thing on eBay to watch the Dreamers bid the thing even higher. Widows, children settling an estate or ex-wives exacting revenge on unfaithful husbands fuel the Flipper’s trade in misery.

Some Flippers don’t bother to learn their product line. You’ll see them on vintage motorcycle chat sites posting up a part or an entire motorcycle and asking, “What is this and what’s it worth?” They actually want to know model and year so they can eBay the thing. It’s a lazy Flipper that buys on appearance alone.

There’s nothing inherently wrong with the buy low-sell high business model except when passion enters into the process. Flippers, through their actions, drive up the cost of vintage motorcycling for the Dreamers. His great financial gains encourage other Dreamers to sell out their childhood memories and become Flippers themselves. With a finite supply of product this process of devouring our own eventually attracts the Collectors.

Collectors have a Flipper’s business sense along with the money to back it up. They don’t need to sell anything ever. When a collector dies an auction house usually disposes of his motorcycles to an audience comprised of 90% Collectors and 10% Dreamers. Flippers know there are no good deals at an auction. By withholding product from the market the Collector also helps drive up costs for those of us who just want an old motorcycle to ride.

This cycle of driving up costs continues until people who don’t really give a crap about them own all the old motorcycles. The Dreamers are priced out of the market and go on to other hobbies like heart surgery or knee replacement. As the generations that originally desired the motorcycles begin to die off the prices will drop and the Flippers, seeing a contracting market, will move on to destroy another fun, economical hobby. Like model trains.

There is no solution to the Flipper problem. Events must follow their course and human nature cannot be denied. Profit wins over passion every time. It’s enough that we loved the old bikes for what they were. Our memories will not be for sale.

Fixing MotoAmerica

Motorcycle road racing in America has not met expectations for quite a while now. Our guys are no longer dominating GP racing as they did in decades past. MotoAmerica, our premier road racing league has made strides by reinstalling the 1000cc bikes as the premier class and bumping the 600’s down to B-team. Hiring my Internet-buddy Andrew Capone as rainmaker for the series is another great move towards professional sponsorship and revenue generation. I’ve never raced on pavement but I rank as an expert spectator due to the sheer number of road races I’ve attended. I’ve got a few ideas on how to make MotoAmerica better and I’m not shy about cranking them out.

From my cheap seats way in the back of the bleachers the first thing that needs doing is to make all racers have large, flat, standard size number plates with a stark contrast between the background and the number. These plates should be situated so that they are legible when the motorcycle is upright or leaned over. Copy how AMA flat track does it. I have no problem seeing the plates they use. So many times at Daytona I’ve lost interest in a race because the stylized graphics on the motorcycles obscure identifying marks. Numbers that are fairly easy to read in a still photo become much more difficult to read when the motorcycles are trotting past at 100 miles per hour and the view is 100 yards away with a barrier fence between you and the action. A hard to follow race is a boring race.

American road racers are never going to get back atop the pinnacle of GP racing until they test themselves against the world’s best. It’s expensive for a US rider to got to Europe so why not bring Europe to the USA? What if all the contract issues could be solved and MotoAmerica paid start money to a few of the GP guys? Pay Rossi to start a few races, Marquez or Dovizioso would be a huge draw. I’m guessing the increased gate alone would pay for Rossi. This harkens back to when European motocross stars were paid to compete over here. American racers gained first hand experience on where they needed to be in order to defeat the best. There is no physical barrier preventing our top AMA racers from competing on even terms with world-class GP racers. Show our greyhounds the European rabbit and they will move heaven and earth to stay on their tail.

Paying start money to stars will cost a lot so MotoAmerica should welcome any advertiser with money into the road racing world. Alcohol, cigarettes, recently legalized medical pot growers, even trailer park Oxycodone dealers should be allowed access to the audience for a price. MotoAmerica can be the expensive venue for all manner of sin-tax products to sell their wares. The squeaky-clean motorcycle racer thing cannot work. The general public will never engage with MotoAmerica because they think all motorcyclists are riff-raff. MotoAmerica should embrace the outlaw buried deep within every rider’s heart.

I have more ideas for MotoAmerica, lots more. Some of them un-publishable, some of them illegal or require three people. How about free programs to go with that expensive ticket? What if a few road races counted towards the flat track championship? Wouldn’t it be a crowd pleaser to see a circle of FT guys show up to battle on pavement in a close flat track championship? Anyway, I’ll wait here at Tinfiny Ranch for the inevitable MotoAmerica call asking me to join the team. I’ll have to decline; monsoon season is coming and I’ve got a lot of concrete work to do in preparation.

Get Out: Kilbourne Crater

If you roll along dusty, unpaved county road A011 through the desert shrubbery of New Mexico’s south-central region, and you roll with purpose, you will fetch up on the shores of Kilbourne Crater. Kilbourne was formed by a maars-type volcanic eruption. In a maars eruption a crater is created by hot magma coming into contact with the water table. When the two meet, the rapidly heated water turns to steam, expands and blows huge chunks of ground skyward. By huge I mean 2.5 kilometers across 1.8 kilometers wide and 125 meters deep. It’s a big hole and it must have made quite a racket when it blew its stack 20,000 to 80,000 years ago.

Maars volcanic eruptions don’t form the classic Hanna-Barbera, cinder cone shape or leave behind crowd-pleasing lava flows. At first I thought a meteor caused the crater but the crew at Southwest Expeditions had several guest speakers situated under a billowing tent to set me straight. They also had a van if you didn’t want to burn your own fuel to get to the crater. I saved $2.57. In addition to downloading a heck of a lot of information about volcanism into the assembled masses they served us a fine chicken-taco lunch.

Lunch was fabulous except for one thing. That thing being a giant jar of sliced jalapenos. No one was eating them because the lid was too tight. I gave it a good twist but the lid would not budge. I’m not the strongest guy in the world but I can open a damn jalapeno jar, you know? I finally gave up and handed it to this big guy that looked like Chief from the movie One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest. I swear, he took the lid in his fingertips and the lid spun off easy as pie.

It put a damper on my lunch I tell you. I ate moody qua-moody. Am I getting old? Will I need a Clap-On soon? Life Alert? After the jar debacle it was probably best that Southwest Expeditions canceled our hike down into the crater. The temperature was 92 degrees and the wind was howling. No sense crushing anyone else’s sense of self-worth.

After lunch we assembled to participate in an art project with Tim Fitzpatrick and Jeff Erwin. Fitzpatrick had a long swatch of bright red cloth that he wanted to juxtaposition against Kilbourne’s vast, earth-colored sweep. It was something to do with the wavelength of light and spectra. I’m not sure because Fitzpatrick lost me after he said, “Hold this red cloth.” While we marched around Erwin flew a drone to capture footage of the cloth snaking across the rim of the crater.

After piercing Kilbourne’s visual solitude with our happy, marching red-band the artists had each of us recite one line of John F. Kennedy’s, “We choose to go to the Moon” speech and took headshots of the readers. I’ll let you know when the thing pops up on you tube.

Surrounding Kilbourne are ash dunes and surprisingly little lava. What lava pieces you do find at the site are more block-shaped and are pieces the explosion ejected from an older layer of lava that had covered the area long before Kilbourne was born from pressurized steam. There’s also a lot of ammunition shell casing scattered around. I imagine the lead-to-lava ratio will approach 50:50 by the year 2234.

The reason for all of this activity in the middle of nowhere was the 50th anniversary of astronauts Conrad, Bean, Gibson, Carr, Irwin and Schmitt training in Kilbourne Crater for their upcoming Apollo 12 Moon mission. That would be the second Moon landing. Kilbourne was chosen for its dust, the rough terrain and the multitude of geologic examples found at the site.

Other Apollo missions trained at Kilbourne: Apollo 13, 14, 15 (canceled), 16 (renamed 15) and 17 crews all did their time in the hole. NASA’s budget and our will to explore the Moon waned and the Apollo missions kind of ran out of steam. Which, in a suitable ending is what created their moon-mission training ground those many years ago. Maybe one day NASA will return to Kilbourne and use its dusty, rocky landscape to train another generation of astronauts. I hope to see America once again become a space-faring nation and that those astronauts will be heading to Mars.

Royal Enfield 650cc Twin Road Test

When I saw the first photographs of Royal Enfield’s new 650 twin the bike seemed perfect. 650 vertical twins have owned the sweet-spot of cool long before McQueen bashed them around the desert and they are still an ideal size and configuration for all around use. Unfortunately the latest vertical twin offerings from other motorcycle manufacturers have sprouted slow-moving tumorous pistons, lost their summer beach-bodies and become uselessly complex. The whole situation kind of put me on edge. I was actually a bit angry: “Royal Enfield better not screw this up,” I mumbled to my cat.

I liked the new Interceptor 650 so much I was going to get really pissed off at Royal Enfield if the bike was crude and uninspiring. Luckily for everyone involved, the Interceptor, or INT, or Cartridge, or Clip or whatever legal BS we are supposed to use, is a great bike. It’s hard to judge long-term quality without the requisite passage of time but from what I can see the 650 is well and truly the Nads.

In the video I rave about the frame, because it is noticeably well-finished. I couldn’t get over the thing. All the component parts of the RE 650 appear to be designed not only with function in mind but also with an eye toward aesthetics. This is a motorcycle that will look just as good dismantled as it does assembled, like how a Norton 750 looks good in pieces on your cycle bench. Thanks, whoever is responsible for this.

The 650 Royal Enfield engine feels peppy and it breathes well. The bike pulls hard right up until the rev limiter cuts in at 7500 RPM. It feels like a happy engine if you know what I mean. Sitting upright I saw an indicated 115 mph in 5th gear at redline and 6th gear dropped the top end to 110. I think if I didn’t have 75 pounds of touring garbage flapping in the breeze and made myself really small I could have gotten 120 mph in high gear.

The fuel injection on my 650 delivered its tiny spurts of fuel precisely and in a timely fashion. I could not imagine it working any better. On the highway the thing got an amazing 70 miles per gallon. Fuel injection is one of the few modern advances that I think are useful on a motorcycle. Handling was a non-issue: The bike tracked well and the suspension is good enough for me.

The shifting is slick and effortless and if I wasn’t running out of old Cycle magazine issues from the 1970’s to steal complimentary phrases from I’d go on about the transmission for hours. I’d really like to take this bike apart and see what makes it so good.

The brakes were not super powerful. I never felt like the bike wouldn’t stop but I’ve gotten used to incredibly powerful brakes on other bikes. It’s not a deal killer for me because this is a multi-purpose motorcycle, not a race bike. I didn’t care for the Royal Enfield’s anti-lock brake system but in their defense I don’t like anybody’s anti-lock brake system. I’ll have to yank the fuse or defeat the system somehow when I get mine.

Yes, I would actually buy one of these motorcycles if moto-journalism paid in something more fungible than “Likes.” I’m not sure what they will actually sell for yet but it will be less than the other guys. If they make a high-pipe scrambler version all bets are off.

Some motorcycles play much larger than their spec sheets would indicate. The Royal Enfield is one of them. It’s such a joy to travel on a simple, lightweight motorcycle and the pleasing burble exiting from the 650’s exhaust system is music to anyone who rode a Honda twin from the 1970s. The 650 is a bike built to ride and it’s nice to look at parked in the garage.

I’m afraid motorcycle riders have become trapped in the American Dream of bigger is better and more plastic is better. The road grows dimmer and further from their nerve endings in the cause of comfort and technology. Stop now. You can easily find a more powerful motorcycle or find a faster one but you’ll play hell finding a better looking motorcycle than the Royal Enfield 650. And you won’t find one that’s more fun to ride on the street.

If you’d like to read the rest of our recent Royal Enfield Baja adventure ride posts, here are the links…

BajaBound on Royal Enfield
18 Again
The Bullet Hits Home
We’re Off
We’re Off 2
Snapshot
Tecate
San Quintin
Royal Enfield 650cc Twin: First Real Ride
The Plucky Bullet
Guerrero Negro
Ballenos
Whales
The Bullet in Baja
A Funny Thing
No One Goes Hungry
Day 7 and a Wake Up
The Bullet
The Bullet: Take 2
The Interceptor