By Joe Berk
I’ve always been afraid of (and morbidly curious about) spiders, so when Bobbie Surber posted the photo you see above of a spider in her Ecuadorean hotel room’s bathroom, it had my attention. I don’t think I could stay in a hotel room where a spider like that put in an appearance. I know I’m a big tough guy who rides motorcycles and made it through jump school in a prior life, but spiders creep me out. I’m deathly afraid of the things.
Which doesn’t mean I’m going to pass up an opportunity to get a photo of one. Baja John and I were rolling through Baja a decade and a half ago on our KLRs (I loved that motorcycle; it was one of the best I ever owned). We were doing maybe doing 60 mph when I somehow spotted a tarantula creeping along the pavement’s edge. I had to turn around and get a photo (it’s the one that sometimes graces the scrolling photo collection you see at the top of every ExNotes blog). Baja John, being a curious sort, did a U-turn and parked his KLR by the side of the road, too. I had my old D200 Nikon with its first-gen 24-120 Nikon lens (not a good choice for a spider macro shot, but it did the job).



Before you knew it, I was snapping away while Baja John and I were crouched down in front of the hairy thing. The tarantula’s ostrich-like behavior was kind of funny. It hunkered down with a weed over its six or eight (or whatever the number is) eyes, thinking because the weed covered its eyes it was concealed. At least for a while. Then it realized we were still there and it charged. I’m not kidding. The thing charged at us with startling speed. Both of us did our best impersonation of Looney Tunes cartoon characters, our feet moving faster than we were, trying to run backwards from the crouched position, screaming like little girls. We made it, and the spider scurried off to wherever it thought was a better spot. Baja John and I, thoroughly adrenalized, laughed so hard I thought I was going to pee my pants.
I’m an old fart who really doesn’t give a rat’s ass about what anybody thinks of me anymore, so I’ll tell you that I am scared of spiders on some basic, fundamental, hardwired-into-my-psyche level. That said, I know that some of you younger guys who read ExNotes probably still worry about being perceived as tough macho men (you guys who haven’t achieved my level of self-awareness and acceptance yet). Because of that, I’ll share with you a technique I’ve used for decades. You know the deal…your significant other spots a spider, usually in the bathtub, and the job of sending it to the promised land naturally falls to you, the man. You’re as scared as she is, but your ego won’t let you admit it. There’s a spider there, and militant feminism be damned, it’s your job (as the man) to “get it.”
Here’s where the story turns to my other favorite topic: Guns. I’m helping you out here, guys. Here’s an excuse to pick up another firearm. You can thank me later.

What you need is a pellet pistol. Preferably a manually-cocked model that doesn’t require a CO2 cartridge. My weapon of choice is the Daisy 777 air pistol. It’s a fantastic gun and it is quite accurate (I used to compete with one in bullseye air pistol competition, but I digress…back to the story at hand).
When your lovely significant other comes to you announcing a spider in the bathtub, choke down those feelings of fear, revulsion, and inadequacy. Here’s what you do: Grab your air pistol. Cock it, but (and this part is very important) do not put a pellet in the chamber. While maintaining a firm grip on the weapon, point it at the offending arachnid with the muzzle approximately one inch away from your target. Do not stand directly under the spider (for reasons that will become clear momentarily, this is also very important). Take a deep breath, let it halfway out, and while maintaining focus on the front sight and proper sight alignment, gently squeeze (do not jerk) the trigger. A high-speed jet of compressed air will exit the muzzle, strike the spider, and break it up into legs, thorax, abdomen, and other body parts. They will float to the ground and in most cases, the separate parts will continue twitching (adding to the excitement, the thrill of the hunt, and proof of your masculinity). Mission accomplished, as old George W liked to say. Your job (which was to “get it”) is done. You can now turn to your sweetheart, smile, and ask her to clean it up.
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I adjusted to a routine of work and Spanish lessons during the weekdays and on weekends I would explore local hikes and rainforests. I was almost at the base of Cotopaxi, which technically is the highest mountain in the world as it is on the equator and bulges out more than Mt. Everest (if you’re one of those rare people that believe the Earth is round).



Having been in Panama and Nicaragua with such little luggage it was important to keep my packing to a minimum. This wasn’t very difficult as the countries I had been visiting were tropical and very warm. I was certain Ecuador would be the same, as Quito was on the equator. Where could be warmer than the equator. Well, it turns out a lot of places could be much warmer? Quito was indeed on the equator but is also nestled in the Andean foothills at an elevation of around 10,000 feet above sea level. To add to that it was August, so technically it was winter there (although the ambient temperature doesn’t fluctuate very much).

You can see how the public admire Guayasense, a motorcyclist and Lord of the Transit Commission of Guayas Province at that time.
During the beginning 50 years, the Presidential Escort was established with the primary mission of escorting and providing security to the President and Vice-President of the Republic. They lit the alarm sirens, lights flashing resplendent in their motorcycles. The seated gentlemen guards were ordered in strategic caravans taking custody of the Presidential car with professionalism and responsibility.
We appreciate the members of the Presidential Escort’s professionalism and accountability. Here they are with His Excellency, Mr. President of the Republic of Ecuador, Dr. Jose Maria Velasco Ibarra.
Here we can see Vigilante Vicente Alvarado doing acrobatics and practicing on his motorized vehicle (motorcycle) at the start of the Training School of Presidential Escort.
In the 80 years of its existence the Transit Commission has renewed its fleet by acquiring brand new 750 cc Suzuki motorcycles, which were used for the Presidential Escort. Here we see Mr. Transit Chief Mayor Jorge Peñafiel Ball, and Mr. Sub Chief Transit Mayor Carlos Palacios Torres.
In the 1990s, the leading institution for transit renewed its fleet by acquiring 750 cc Honda motorcycles.
In gratitude for the performance of motorcyclists who were part of the Presidential Escort, the department received Harley Davidson Motorcycles.
Festivities in Juliana’s staff. Here is 92 years of motorcycle experience in the Presidential Escort to the President of the Republic Arch Sixto Durán Ballén, from left to right subway. Miguel Leon Czech Subway. Miguel Rosero Huacón, Sgt. Ely Lopez Duran and subway. José Paredes Desiderio (current head of the Department Presidential Escort).
In 2004, the Transit Commission of Guayas Province acquires new motorcycles for the department of the Presidential Escort. These are the 1150 cc BMW brand.
The Escort also received Suzuki Motorcycles of 500cc, which were acquired together with the BMW for the Department of the Presidential Escort CTG.
Here are Motorcyclists who took part in the caravan escorting Mr. Former President of the USA George Bush during his visit to the city of Guayaquil.
Here is the Head of Department (Cap. Jose Paredes Desiderio) planning with the class officers and gentlemen vigilant routes before a shift is going to escort some of the important people who visit the city of Guayaquil and Guayas Province.
This is the Staff of the Presidential Escort doing acrobatics on BMW motorcycles.
Like any other institution in the country and the world, women now form part of this great institution in the GUAYAS transit Commission. These beautiful and distinguished ladies who have the mystique and taste for wearing a uniform have the ability and skill to drive a motor vehicle, which has led them to join the select group of the Presidential Escort of the Province of Guayas.
At present I am trying to communicate with police elsewhere in the world who are interested in training with modern techniques and exchange knowledge. We ask them to share their his knowledge by writing to my mail (jparedesd@ctg.gov.ec). If any groups use Harley Davidson, BMW, Honda, Suzuki, etc. and would like to educate two members of this institution which I represent I ask you to contact me.