La Purisima Mission

As a New Jersey boy, our history courses in grade school and high school mostly focused on local and regional things, like the American Revolution and maybe a little bit of the Civil War, and then it was time to graduate.  I grew up in the middle of a lot of significant Revolutionary War stuff, with maybe a little Gettysburg thrown in, and our class trips and studies tended to focus accordingly.   What I’m getting at is I had never heard of the California or Baja missions until I moved to California, got married, and had kids.   Then one day my young daughter came home from school and told me she had been assigned a mission.

“To do what,” I asked, thinking it was like getting a mission in the Army.

“San Gabriel,” she answered.

“Huh?” I was a curious and articulate parent.

My daughter patiently explained to her dumb old Dad what the California missions were.  I had never heard of the missions until that day. But I’ve been making up for it ever since.  I never pass on an opportunity to learn more about the Alta California and Baja missions, and it’s a story that’s far more interesting than the stuff I studied in school.

My favorite California mission, hands down, is La Purisima.  It’s the best one there is north of the border.  But I’m getting a little ahead of myself.

A bit on the photography first: I shot all the images here with a film camera (a Nikon N70). That’s how long I’ve been stopping in at the La Purisima Mission in Lompoc, California. It’s just a few miles inland off the Pacific Coast Highway. Surprisingly few people know of it, but if you’re planning a trip up the PCH, La Purisima is a must see destination.

This California motorcycle ride occurred as a backup to a plan to dive deep into Baja 20 years ago that just didn’t work out.  Good buddy Paul flew out from New Jersey and rented a Harley in San Diego, and the plan was to ride into Baja to see the whales.  That’s how it started.  I had my ’92 Softail, but it gave up the ghost somewhere around Ensenada.  It happens, I guess.  Paul and I had to turn around and head home.  No problem.  I owned four or five motorcycles in those days (I was like Joe Gresh back then, with lots of hair and lots of motorcycles).  We’d just park my Harley and I’d grab another bike.

Yours truly and Paul, both suffering from the two of the worst cases of helmet hair ever captured on film. I no longer have that problem.  That’s the Pacific Ocean in the background.

Paul had a Harley Fat Boy he rented from EagleRider in San Diego.  It was a motorcycle that worked well for this trip.  It would have been cool if I could have ridden my Harley, too, but on this trip the motorcycles were a two-wheeled odd couple.

A skinny guy on a Fat Boy somewhere on the Pacific Coast Highway.

I switched over to my Suzuki TL1000S, a bike most people would think was totally unsuited for long-distance motorcycle touring.  But it did the job and it did it well.  I was younger then and I bent easier; I don’t think I could do a long ride on a sportbike today.  The ADV style suits me better.  So does a Subaru Outback, but I digress.

A tankbag and a tail pack, and oila, the TL became a touring machine.

Paul and I rode north on the 101 out of LA a bit and then took California’s 246 west from Buellton.  I had been to the La Purisima Mission before and I wanted to show it to Paul.  It’s not well known as a tourist destination, but it should be. The place is amazing.

A view out front showing the length of the main building and the bell tower.

La Purisima Mission (Misión La Purísima Concepción De María Santísima, or Mission of the Immaculate Conception of Most Holy Mary) was founded in December of 1787.  It was a good stop and I got some great photos with my old film Nikon.

La Purisima Mission’s bell tower.
A long hall.
Concentric doors.
A cool front porch. It’s easy to imagine the original inhabitants seeking shade under this roof.
Another exterior view of the La Purisima Mission.
A sundial that appeared to be keeping excellent time. A friend asked what the sundial did when it was time to switch to Daylight Savings Time. That watch is the first version of Citizen’s Blue Angels GMT.  It has a bezel slide rule.  I still wear it.

The 2000-acre La Purisima Mission is one of only two missions in California not run by the Catholic Church, and it is the only one that faithfully recreates a complete historic mission operation.

A bit of background:  La Purisima sort of fell apart starting in the early 1800s.  Things were not going well for Spain in the New World and things were especially not going well for the California missions.  The mission’s enslaved Chumash natives rebelled, smallpox decimated the indigenous population, Mexico won its independence from Spain and disbanded the mission system, and things generally just went to hell in a handbasket if you were the guy running the missions.  The La Purisima property went through several owners. Union Oil bought the place in 1903 and then donated it to California.  A huge research and reconstruction effort commenced, and the La Purisima Mission was opened to the public on December 7, 1941 (yep, the same day as the Pearl Harbor attack). Everything at La Purisima had been resurrected as it existed in 1820, including the furniture, the buildings, and even the adobe bricks made from surrounding soil.

You’ve seen the exterior in the photos above.  Let’s head into the buildings to see what life was like in the late 1700s and early 1800s for the mission inhabitants.

Inside the chapel. One of the Mission’s objectives was to convert the native Chumash to Catholicism.
Another room in the chapel.
A combined work and dining area.
The Mission library and meeting area.
Another one of the rooms in the La Purisima Mission.

There’s disagreement these days about whether the Spanish mission system provided enlightenment or enslavement for the natives.  The missions were intended to establish a Spanish presence in Alta California.  Spain had claimed Mexico and California (and large parts of the American southwest), but they didn’t really have anyone there watching the store until they started the missions in the second half of the 1700s.  The Spanish had concerns about other nations claiming the territory.  Teach the indigenous people a trade, keep them busy farming and making stuff, and let’s grow it from there.  It didn’t quite work out that way.

An objective of mission life was to teach leather work and other skills.
The mission tended sheep and wove wool.
I’m not sure what this equipment was used for, but that’s okay. It means I have a reason to return to La Purisima.
The Mission’s original latrine. That’s Paul behind the curtain.
Thick adobe walls kept the inside of the Mission cool.
Paul in one of the Mission doorways.
La Purisima is still an active farm and ranch. This rather photogenic turkey kept asking us how many days it was until Thanksgiving.
This, my friends, is a Longhorn. Like the turkey above, he had no qualms posing for us.

If you’re planning that bucket list ride on the Pacific Coast Highway, my advice is to include a stop at the La Purisima Mission.  You’re only about 13 miles inland from the PCH, and it’s too grand a destination to pass without a visit.   You might want to allow a couple of hours to see and photograph this marvelous old place.


Another word on the images here:  I’m going to use some of them in a story I recently wrote for my favorite motorcycle magazine.  I knew I had these 20-year-old images squirreled away somewhere, but finding them was a challenge.  I finally found the prints, but I couldn’t find the negatives.  After another hour digging through old boxes, I miraculously found them, too.  I thought I’d just have Costco’s photo department scan the negatives for me, and then I thought it might be a good idea to call first and make sure the photo department was open (you know, what with Covid 19 and all).   They were, and I told the photo dude I’d be right over to get my negatives scanned.

“We don’t do that,” he said.

“Yeah, you do,” I answered, figuring I was talking to a new guy who just didn’t know.   “You’ve done it for me before.”

“Sir, we haven’t touched anything with film in years,” he said.

Hmmmmm.  Come to think of it, it had been a while since I’d seen any film for sale in Costco.  And it had been a lot of years since I shot anything on film.

The Costco guy suggested a small mom and pop operation across the street from the Costco store, and that’s where I went.  What you see here are the results of the Photo Factory’s scans (thanks, guys!).

Time marches on, I guess.


More Epic Rides are here!

Day 6: Honda

The Colombia motoventure continues!  This is Day 6 of my epic ride through Colombia’s Andes Mountains with good buddies Juan and Carlos, two great guys with whom I’ve stayed in contact ever since our Andean adventure.   Without further ado, here we go!


Originally posted on December 20, 2015

Let me see if I can get this right: I’m a guy from California riding a Chinese motorcycle in Colombia headed to a town called Honda. Yep, that was yesterday’s ticket.

We left Villa de Leyva early in the morning, climbed higher into the Andes, and wow, was it ever cold. Juan Carlos stopped so we could grab a few photos..

As I was taking in the scenery, this Colombian SUV rolled into the scene…

We next stopped at the point where Colombia was born. The last battle of the Colombian war of independence (against Spain) occurred right here at this bridge in Boyaga…

The Colombian rebels defeated the Spanish regulars here, and at that point, Colombia was born. There are a lot of parallels between how Colombia came into being and our Revolutionary War.

Boyaga is actually pronounced “boy-jogga.” In Colombian Spanish, a y is pronounced like a j. So is a double l (as in ll). A montallanta (a tire repair place) is called a “monta-jonta.” Interesting.

Following Juan through these small towns was fascinating and taxing. We’re up in the Andes, and everything is steep. Juan is incredible…we climb these steep cobblestone streets, cut across some guy’s front lawn, grab a dirt road, pick up a new street, every once in a while (while still riding) he pulls up alongside a guy on horse or a tractor to confirm directions (Juan’s GPS, as he calls it), and we cut across the Colombian countryside. It’s amazing. Here’s a sampling of what it looks like, both in the dirt (and there is a lot of dirt riding) and through the small towns…

We hit a last stretch of twisties (a 50-mile stretch) and then we pulled over for a photo of the Magdalena River valley. Our destination (the town of Honda) is down there somewhere…

Honda is a another steep town. This street (that’s our hotel, the Epoque, on the left) is a typical super steep Colombian town road. The road is a one way road…I tried parking the bike facing down hill, but it was too steep. I thought I could just leave the bike in first gear and kill the ignition, but the street was so steep it pulled the bike through the compression stroke. That’s why the bikes are facing uphill. These are unusual riding conditions for me, but totally normal to the Colombians.

Today we’re headed to Santa Rosa de Cabal. You can read all about it in the next installment in this series!


You can read the earlier blogs in this series from Colombia here!

Stop Me If You’ve Heard This One: KLR250 Refresh, Reflash and Rehash Part 1

I’ve owned a KLR250 for a long time. I bought the thing on highway 40 between Ocala and Ormond Beach from a gator-meat seller named Street. When I bought it the KLR was nearly new and being a 2005 model it is the last in a long line of KLR250 Replicants that started in 1995. In 20 years of building the 250cc enduro-style bike all Kawasaki did was change the paint schemes and the seat colors.

My KLR, named “The Widowmaker” due to its extremely low power output, has done some long distance, cross country traveling but the last 7-8 years it has been stowed at The Love Shack for use in March during Daytona’s bike week. Long periods of inactivity broken up by a week of full throttle action has left The Widowmaker in a sad state so I brought her out to New Mexico for some tender loving care.

In no particular order The Widowmaker needs front brake work, blinker stalk replacement, a new front tire, valves adjusted, carb cleaned, air filter replaced, coolant and coolant hoses replaced (15 years!), back tire replaced, fork seals and a few other things I’m forgetting. It’s not that bad a list for the many years of neglect The Widowmaker has suffered under my care.

Last March The Widowmaker’s front disc brake was giving me trouble. It would not release and the disc got pretty hot from dragging. I could smell brake lining burning as I rode the bike. The Widow maker, never very fast to start with, was pushing the front forks down and struggling to make 40 miles per hour. Cracking open the bleeder on the caliper freed up the front wheel and I managed a few days of riding using only the rear drum brake.

Eventually I had to fix the brake as it was taxing my brain planning stops 300 feet in advance. I took the caliper off and the piston was firmly stuck inside with a crystalline white-ish gunk but I managed to extract the offending part without too much collateral damage. 2005 might as well be 500 years ago when you’re trying to find motorcycle parts. I went to a few brick and mortar motorcycle shops in Daytona but nobody had anything for a 15 year-old KLR. I didn’t have enough time to order online so I cleaned out the bore and stuck the caliper back together.

Bleeding the system was a challenge as the master cylinder seemed to move 2 pico-liters of fluid each stroke. The lever didn’t feel right but I pressed on. The Widowmaker’s brake was better but the caliper was still not releasing well and I determined the master cylinder was the culprit. All around me Florida was closing up due to Covid-19. I had no more time to work on the bike so I loaded The Widow maker into the truck and hauled it out west to New Mexico.

Looking online for a master cylinder rebuild kit I found new, complete, generic master cylinders with lever and all for $20! People complain about the global economy but $20 is $20. My Facebook post about the cheap master cylinder brought mixed reactions. Some said they are garbage and leak others said they use them all the time and that they work great. I went with the generic because I’m old now. If the brakes fail I haven’t lost much time.

When I say complete I mean even down to the brake light switch. I opened up the unbranded box and the new unbranded lever looked great cosmetically. I could see no flaws in the construction and a side-by-side comparison with the original Nissan master showed there was nothing visual to make the OEM seem better than the generic. A few minor differences: the generic has a larger reservoir and includes a threaded hole for a mirror. The mirror mount was an unexpected bonus because I had broken the left side mirror mount in a violent side-trip through some sagebrush out in Utah. I was trying to follow Hunter at the time. The extra mounting hole allowed me to transfer the old, right side, stand alone mirror mount to the left side where I had wanted a mirror ever since the sagebrush incident .

If you Safety Nazis are wondering where the handlebar kill switch is I can tell you that it broke off years ago in a less memorable crash. The key switch is only a foot away. The new master cylinder installed and bled out easily. The front brake has a firm lever, firmer than it ever was. The caliper releases nicely and all seems rosy. Time will tell if the replacement master cylinder lasts as long as the Nissan.

The left side of the handlebar has the (also broken) light/blinker/horn and all that works well. I had to thin down the mirror mount to fit between the clutch lever (not broken!) and the switch cluster.

I don’t want to give you the wrong impression. Realize it has taken many years to break all these parts. I’m not tossing the bike down the road everyday, you know? The Widowmaker’s features, like a boxer fighting past his prime, are becoming smoother and less distinct from the blows. If I don’t turn back the tide of destruction now The Widowmaker will look as bad as a 2021 Goldwing.


Want more of Gresh’s resurrection projects?  Just click here!

A TT250 Ride

I woke up last Friday with but one thought:  I have got to get out on my motorcycle today.

Well, I did, and I had a glorious ride up through the Cajon Pass in southern California.  That’s the pass that cuts between the San Gabriel Mountains and the San Bernardino Mountains.  Most folks would just take Interstate 15 from So Cal to the High Desert through the Cajon, but to me riding a motorcycle on the freeway is a bit of a crime against nature.  There are surface streets that get you through most of the Cajon Pass, and if you know where to look, there are dirt roads that do the same.  Those roads are way more fun, but it’s like I said…you have to know where to look.

Me?  I know where to look.

On old Route 66 through the Cajon Pass. Yep, it’s still there, and it was a perfect photo op with my black CSC TT250 on a cloudy June morning.

Big freight trains slog through the Cajon Pass on a regular basis, and there’s a dirt road that runs along the tracks for several miles.  It was a perfect road for the TT250.  I was out there on my own, having a good old time when I stopped to grab a photo, and that’s when I heard it.  The rails, that is.  They started singing.  They do that when there’s a train downrange.  You can actually hear the metallic buzz the rails emit miles before the train comes into view.  Time to switch the cell phone camera to the video mode.  I didn’t see anything for a couple of minutes, and then way down the hill in the distance I could just make out a headlight.  Then that one orange orb became three blurry headlights, the signature of the first of several freight locomotives.  They were working hard.  It takes a lot of power to pull a train up a mountain pass.  The lights grew in size, the indistinct three orange dots came into focus, and there it was:

The train was a monster.  I finished the video, I took several stills, and then I mounted up and rode at a sedate pace in the opposite direction for a good five minutes before I saw the end of that train.  I’ll bet it was three miles long.  Maybe more.  There were four locomotives pulling and there was a fifth on the tail end. It’s hard to imagine the weight and the energy of a freight train like the one I saw that morning.  And it was doing it all going uphill, charging through the Cajon Pass from the Pomona Valley up to the High Desert. It was impressive.

That train just kept coming, and coming, and coming.

I had a hell of a ride that morning.  A bit of freeway (but not too much), a fair amount of dirt, a stream crossing that was deeper than I thought it would be (and damn, there was no one to video me standing on the pegs with water splashing all over my boots and jeans), a train, Old Route 66, and nice, cool weather.  It was grand.

It was about 5 years ago that I was sitting in Zongshen’s marketing offices in Chongqing discussing this, that, and the other thing on the RX3 for CSC Motorcycles.  All the while, I kept stealing peeks at a 150cc dual sport bike the Zongshen wizards had mounted on a display pedestal in their conference area.  Finally, I asked…what’s the deal on that motorcycle?  Can it be had with a 250cc engine?

My good friend Chongqing Fan smiled.  I could read that guy like a book, and what I was reading was this:  He knew, and he knew I knew:  The guys at Zongshen, China’s largest motorcycle manufacturer, they can do anything.  A few quick digital pics back to CSC, a recommendation, a quick decision from a CEO who’s not afraid to make decisions (that would be Azusa Steve), and the CSC TT250 was born.  I own one of the very first to arrive in America, and it’s been a hoot.  We’ve even done Baja on the TT250s (talk about brand loyalty…half the guys on that ride also own an RX3).  CSC can barely keep TT250 motorcycles in stock; they sell as soon as they arrive.  Most of the time, they’re sold before the ship gets here.

I selected black for my TT250 (one of three or four colors available in 2016) because I thought it would photograph well, and I was right. It does a lot more than just sit there and look pretty, though.  The TT250 is a great motorcycle. It’s simple, torquey, easy to maintain, great handling, reliable, comfortable, and inexpensive. Plus, I know the factory and the people who make and import this motorcycle.  Good buddy Gerry and I wrote the shop manual for this motorcycle, and I know the bike’s innards.  You might say I know it inside and out.  I think the fact that I know most everyone involved in creating and importing this motorcycle makes it even more of a hoot to ride.

TT250s on the production line in Chongqing.  Mine was in there somewhere.
Your mileage may vary.

The TT250 is about as simple as a motorcycle gets, and it has what has to be one of the most ubiquitous and reliable motorcycle engines on the planet.  You see these motors in various versions (ranging from 125cc to 250cc) everywhere.  They’re bulletproof.  They’re designed to be rode hard and put away wet, and that’s what folks in South America, Central America, Asia, and the Middle East do.  It’s no accident that my good buddies at Janus Motorcycles chose the same engine to power their amazing 250cc motorcycles. I’m going to ride my TT250 until the wheels fall off.  Then I’ll buy replacement parts for probably something like $9 and repeat the process.

The TT250 is a light bike.  It’s easy to ride and easy to keep vertical (they tell me it’s easy to pick up if you drop it, but I’ve never dropped mine).  The TT250 weighs 309 pounds wet and in an age of overweight, bloated, and expensive monster motorcycles, riding it is fun.  It’s not an ego statement.  It’s a motorcycle.  It’s what a motorcycle should be.  I feel like a kid every time I get on it (and in six months, I’ll be 70 years old).  I started riding motorcycles on a Honda Super 90 (a 90cc single) when Lyndon Johnson was in the White House.  Riding a simple single makes me a hooligan again, braapping the mean streets of rural New Jersey before I was old enough to have a license and loving every second of it.

I have the 49T rear sprocket on my TT250 (one down from the stock 50T), and that’s about perfect for me.  My bike tops out at about 66 mph indicated, and after my hundred mile ride through the Cajon Pass that morning I topped off and checked my fuel economy.  62.5 mpg.  Just a little better than I usually get.   Your mileage, as they say, may vary.

I have the Wolfman bags on my TT.  They’re light, they don’t get in the way, they’ve held up well, and they’re handy if I want to carry stuff.  That’s usually a few tools (just in case, but I’ve never needed them on the road), a bottle of Aleve, a change of underwear, and I’m good for a couple of weeks in Baja.

Speaking of Baja, good buddy Baja John is another guy with the same affliction as me: He owns both an RX3 and a TT250.  And a .44 Magnum or two, but that’s a story for another blog.  Baja John keeps his TT250 at a beachfront home in Baja, and as soon as this Covid 19 business is in the rearview mirror, I’m headed down there.  I want to photograph one or two of the more remote missions, John knows the trails, and the TT250 is the motorcycle to get us there.

More good times are on the horizon, folks.  Stay tuned.


Epic rides reside here!

Freeze Warning

Summer has clawed its way up from the Tularosa valley and settled in here at 6000 feet. Tinfiny Ranch is hot. I have few real chores at Tinfiny except the ones I create for myself but keeping my wife cool is one of the prime directives. It’s hot enough to fire up the mini-split air conditioner, electric bill be dammed! I installed the mini-split 4 years ago; in fact I ordered it from China, in China, when me and Berk were out scrambling motorcycles in the Gobi desert. That was after we descended from high atop the Tibetan Plateau…for 40 days.

The mini-split installation was fairly easy: a Magic box that sits outside, a wall-mounted unit inside and a couple of copper pipes with a bit of wiring is all there is to the thing. The unit came pre-charged: all the gas was under pressure inside the magic box. I had to buy a vacuum pump to evacuate the line sets and then open the service valves. Presto! Nice cool air.

Unfortunately, sometime last winter the system sprung a leak: Tinfiny’s mini-split had lost its ability to keep my wife cool. If you’ve read ExhaustNotes.us before you’ll know that I have an aversion to calling in a repairman. Hiring someone who knows what they are doing clashes with the pioneer spirit here at Tinfiny. I googled the F3 error code and found the gas charge was low so I ordered an 11-pound container of 410A refrigerant. Pretty in pink and $80 with free shipping.

The tools required for the air conditioning trade used to be fairly expensive. A set of gauges and a vacuum pump might set you back $500 in the 1980s. A typical homeowner usually didn’t have that kind of equipment sitting next to the rake and that broken blue plastic kiddie pool. Thanks to the wonders of our modern global economy a middleclass pencil-pusher can set himself up in the air conditioning business for a couple hundred very devalued US dollars. Less if he doesn’t care to know what pressures his system runs.

Mini-split air conditioning systems are pretty simple at the mechanical-cooling level. A compressor squeezes the refrigerant gas into a liquid, increasing its heat. This hot, liquid refrigerant is then run through a condenser, which is nothing more than a radiator like the one in your car. The condenser cools the liquid refrigerant by transferring heat from the liquid to the outside air via the cooling fins of the condenser.

Next the cooled liquid refrigerant goes to the expansion valve. The expansion valve has a tiny hole that causes a pressure differential. The now low-pressure refrigerant travels to the evaporator which is another radiator located inside the room to be cooled. The room air temperature boils or expands the refrigerant, in the process drawing heat out of the room. After absorbing heat from the cooled space the refrigerant travels back to the compressor to start the cycle anew.

As this endless circle of suck, squeeze, condense, evaporate, return continues the room gets cooler and cooler until the thermostat shuts off the compressor or the room gets so cold the refrigerant won’t evaporate. Don’t hold your breath for the room to get that cold. While refrigeration theory is simple, all the extra components, controls and electronics involved with air-conditioning are not simple.

An interesting side note about mini-splits: The expansion valve is located inside the compressor/condenser unit that sits outside. This means that both refrigerant tubes going to the interior-mounted evaporator/fan unit are all part of the expansion cycle so both tubes get cold as opposed to one line hot, one line cold like in a traditional central air system.

Have all the fair-weather readers left the room? Good, because we’ve lost anyone with a functioning life and things are about to get even geekier. On my mini-split the only access for a pressure gauge is on the low-pressure side near the intake of the compressor. Gauge sets are usually the first thing a person buys when working on an air conditioner but to me they are the least important tool. My AC guru, Jerry, from The Florida Keys told me to feed the 410A in slowly until the evaporator gets uniformly cool and you’ve reached the right pressure. Who cares what the pressures are as long as the room gets cool, right?

I put the pressure gauge/manifold on the system anyway and fed a steady diet of 410A into the low-pressure side keeping things around 100-psi and it worked. For about 3 hours we had glorious cool air. My wife was happy. Was it me, or did each pass through the compressor seem like a little less cool air was blowing out? I had a leak. I kind of knew I had a leak before I started the filling process because it’s a sealed system: what else could cause low pressure?

Much like finding a leak on a flat tire, soapy water revealed that the reversing valve was leaking where the tubes were soldered into the spool valve body. A quick note on reversing valves: They do exactly what they say they do. They reverse the direction refrigerant flows in the system making the evaporator the condenser and the condenser the evaporator. In reverse cycle, the unit tries to cool the outdoors and the interior unit warms the house. It makes a fairly efficient heat source as there are no heat strips or high wattage elements to suck up huge quantities of electricity.

The operative word in mini-split land is “mini.” Everything is crammed together inside a small space making the valve swap more difficult than it needed to be. There are three short pipes almost touching each other and then one more off to the side. To remove the valve gracefully you’d need to heat all 4 joints at once. I don’t have 4 torches or 4 hands so I cut the old valve out. I then tried to de-solder the left over stubs but whatever the manufacturer used to solder their joints had a higher melting point than the copper pipe! The job was turning bad, man. The copper pipe would turn rubbery and that damn solder still would not let go. The wiring and insulation were catching on fire. I had to take a break.

My new plan was to abandon the old joints and cut each tube, lowering the valve a bit but I couldn’t find my small tubing cutter. I had to bend each pipe out of the restricted space to cut them. Of course you know any time you move pipes that have sat in position for years the risk of creating another leak is pretty much 100%. Manhandling the copper pipes back into position was another chore and I began to mentally prepare myself for the cost of a new AC unit ($600).

If you’ve lost all the gas out of your mini-split system the best way to charge it is to weigh in the correct amount of refrigerant (32 ounces in this case, plus a few ounces for the tubing runs). I guess now would be a good time to discuss the merits of filling liquid vs gas. Depending on the orientation of the gas bottle you’ll get liquid refrigerant or gas refrigerant out of the bottle. From what I’ve read online liquid charging preserves the ratio of the blended crap they sell us now to close that Ozone hole and save mankind. Sure it worked, the hole closed and all but what about my rights? Gas charging ends up favoring the lighter elements of the blend so each fill alters the ratio of the remaining refrigerant. Worst case it will decrease cooling performance and leave behind a compromised bottle of AC juice. 410A is not as bad as some of the other exotic blends but I liquid charged anyway because I’m a cutting edge, risk taking sort of dude.

In actual fact as soon as the liquid hits a pressure differential it turns to a gas. Things like your pressure gauge manifold knobs turn into expansion valves. As long as you don’t dump the juice in too fast and lock up the compressor with a slug of liquid 410A. Keep the stuff coming out the bottle liquid and your ratios will remain correct.

32 ounces of 410A bought us another few hours of nice, cool air before the mini-split began blowing room temperature air into Tinfiny’s living room (if you can call it living). The thing was still leaking. I never let a crisis go by without using it as an excuse to buy more tools. I used my new halogen sniffer on the condensing unit and found the new expansion valve leaking at my solder joints.

In retrospect I was rushing the job, frustrated with the confined space, fires and tired of messing with the stupid thing. I guess I didn’t get the pipes cleaned off enough or there might have been traces of oil that the solder flux didn’t get clean or who knows. The new valve passed the vacuum test but vacuum is nothing compared to the 300+psi high side running pressure.

Luckily a cool spell blew through Tinfiny Ranch, which bought me some time to think. I asked myself what was the main obstacle to success on this job? The main obstacle was the confined area to work on the valve. Then I said to myself, “Why not get rid of the valve?” it was like the blinding light of Jesus struck me! Of course! Make it cool only and I’ll worry about heat next winter!

And so on the third day of working on the mini-split I bypassed the reversing valve. Using my new mini tubing cutter I made cuts in the pipe at different levels and wide apart, filling the gaps in the plumbing with new copper pipe. This also allowed me to use my new tubing expander on the jumper pipes. Anytime you can eliminate a solder joint it’s a good thing. The tubing expander gets rid of couplings and saves solder joints.

When I bought the pink, 11-pound bottle of 410A I figured it would last the rest of my life. After charging the system twice I was starting to worry I wouldn’t have enough gas to finish the job. I sanded the pipes with crocus cloth and wiped them down with paste flux. I might have gone a bit overboard with the solder as the stuff was running down the pipe. Usually when I solder copper pipe I let the solder wick into the joint then wipe the joints with a rag while the solder is still soft. It makes a clean looking joint. This time I didn’t touch anything for fear of causing a leak.

With the bypass pipes in place I charged the system yet again. 34 ounces of 410A put the low-side pressure near enough to 110 psi so I was in the ballpark charge-wise. Daytime temps have been in the mid-90’s and as I type this the mini-split has been cooling Tinfiny down to a crisp 70 degrees inside. And it’s been doing it for almost 5 days. If there’s a leak it’s a slow one.

Money-wise I may have to call it a wash. I bought a digital scale, a halogen sniffer, a mini tubing cutter, a bottle of 410A, a tubing expander and the rest of the tools I already owned. Maybe calling a pro would have been the way to go. I spent 3 days learning a lot about HVAC, cussing and thinking hard about the choices I make. And I would do the same thing again. It’s a good thing to peek inside the magic boxes of your life.

Good buddies and a great ride…

When the phone rings and it’s good buddy Duane wanting to head into the San Bernardino Mountains for a motorcycle ride, I know it’s time to hop to.  That’s what I did last week and it was an awesome ride.  East on the 210, up Waterman to Hwy 18 into the mountains, and then down the 138 on the other side to ride home through the Cajon Pass.  Good times, and this trip was made all the more special because of two more good friends we connected with on the ride.

Duane and his magnificent Indian up in the San Bernardino Mountains. It was a glorious day.
Geezers.  Motorcycle geezers.  CSC Mustang and RX3 geezers.  Former Army motorcycle-riding geezers.  Former Army motorcycle-riding gun nut geezers. Whatcha gonna do?  Great minds work alike.

It was a grand ride through one of the greatest motorcycle playgrounds on the planet.  The weather was perfect and the bikes were running like Chinese 250s (I was going to say like Swiss watches, but I have Swiss watches and I have Chinese 250s, and the Chinese 250s run better).  Both the Indians were running great.  My Indian is an Enfield made in India.   Duane’s bike is an Indian made in America.  It’s very confusing, I know.

A grand day for a grand ride.  No polarizers or saturation sliders needed.

So we turned onto the 138 somewhere in one of the little mountaintop towns and we had a fun slalom down through the twisties.  As we approached Silverwood Lake, I wanted to stop to get a photo of the bikes.  There’s this huge parking lot and it was completely empty, so I thought we would park there and I could angle my shot for the best photo.

So we’re rolling to a stop and I noticed this silver SUV pulling in behind us, and wouldn’t you know it, the guy parks right next to us.  I was thinking that would completely screw up my photo.  You know the drill…a parking lot the size of Texas and the guy, this, this, this interloper parks right next to me.  I was all set to dip into my not-such-a-nice-guy routine when Mr. Silver SUV stepped out of his car with a giant grin.

Twin Peaks Steve!

Twin Peaks Steve and Glendora Duane…two great guys!

Wow, we were ever surprised and happy.  Duane and I have a lot in common, as alluded to in one of the photo captions above, and Twin Peaks Steve is right there with both of us in every regard.

We had a real nice visit overlooking Silverwood Lake and caught up on things.  Steve’s beautiful wife Rosemary was there, too, and we had a wonderful chat with her.  I can’t tell you how great it was bumping into these two.  Steve told me he recognized us when we rode by and he and Rosemary followed us down hoping to have a chance to connect.  I’m glad he did.  We all met back in the CSC Mustang days about 10 years ago, when Steve was the very first guy to order a custom CSC Bobber.  It was one of the prettiest bikes we ever built at CSC.

Steve’s custom CSC 150 Bobber. It was a real show stopper…a visually arresting, gorgeous little jewel of a motorcycle.

Twin Peaks Steve rode with Duane and me on a bunch of CSC rides, and the more we learned about him back in those days, the more impressed we were.  How about ultra-lights as a hobby?   Yep, Steve did that, too.

Ah, for the love of adventure. Twin Peaks Steve has done it all!

Then CSC went into the ADV motorcycle business by importing the RX3.  Steve and Duane both bought bikes from the very first RX3 shipment to arrive in America, and we rode together (Duane, Twin Peaks Steve, and yours truly) on a bunch more rides.

One of my favorite photos of Steve.

Steve is a serious rider and camper, and he outfitted his RX3 with all the good stuff for disappearing into the boonies.  He did a lot of trips up and down the 395 (one of the prettiest highways in America), and the motormaestro even did a guest blog or two about his adventures when I was writing the CSC blog.  If you poke around on the CSC blog and search on “Twin Peaks Steve” you’ll find he’s a regular there!

Steve’s RX3 somewhere up along Highway 395. Steve is the real deal; he’s done some amazing trips on his RX3.

What a ride and what a day!

So, how about you?  Are you getting out on your motorcycle?  Do me and yourself a favor and live large, like Steve, Duane, and the rest of us.  Get off your computer, get your riding gear, and get on the road!


More great rides are right here!

A cherry ’06…

About 40 years ago, I bought a Howa 30 06 barreled action and a Bishop semi-inletted stock.  It was to be the first rifle I had stocked and I wanted something different.  In perusing the Bishop catalog, I selected cherry instead of walnut (not cherry as in cool, but cherry as in the kind of tree George Washington cut down).  When I ordered it on the phone (this was way before the Internet came along), I asked the Bishop people if they could run the forearm out to the muzzle, because my concept was to make it like a Mannlicher rifle.  I thought that would be cool (and I was right).  As I recall, the semi-inletted stock was $57 plus postage (and postage wasn’t very much).  Ah, times change.

Semi-inletted stocks were advertised as 95% complete.  All you had to do, the ads said, was some minor finishing work to get a perfect fit (sanding and maybe a little filing in the stock’s inletted areas so the barreled action would drop in).  But it took a ton of labor to make that happen.  Maybe I just didn’t know what I was doing, but if what I put into the stock’s final inletting was 5%, Bishop must have spent a million hours doing the first 95%.  But all’s well that ends well and this project ended well.

I finished the stock with what would become my preferred finish on all future gun projects, and that’s TruOil.  After sanding with 320, then 400, and then 600 grit paper, and then buffing the wood with denim to get any remaining grain whiskers, the drill was to apply a coat of TruOil, wait a day for it to dry, beat it down with 0000 steel wool, and repeat the process the following day.  You’re looking at 10 days of that on this stock.  It deepened the color of the cherry nicely.  It’s different, and it always causes folks who see it at the range to strike up a conversation.

I floated the barrel (that means sanding the barrel channel so the barrel doesn’t touch the stock at all) and glass-bedded the action (that means pouring an epoxy and fiberglass mix into the stock and allowing it to cure around the receiver, creating a perfect bed for the action).  Glass bedding creates a stable platform.  Free floating the barrel eliminates asymmetric loads on the barrel due to temperature and humidity changes, and temperature changes in the barrel that occur when a rifle is fired. Those two steps improve accuracy tremendously.  It works.

I wanted something different for the forearm tip on this rifle, and I didn’t want to screw around with trying to fit a metal cap (what you typically see on a Mannlicher stock) because that would bring the barrel back into contact with the wood.  I thought it would be cool to give it an Alex Henry forearm treatment (like the Ruger No. 1 style), and I carved it freehand with a Dremel.  That turned out surprisingly well, too.

I didn’t checker the stock.  There are two reasons for that…I can’t checker worth a damn, and I actually prefer the look of a rifle without checkering.

Three handloads I developed for use in other 30 06 rifles work well.  The first is a near-max load of IMR 4320 with the Hornady 130-grain jacketed soft point bullet (that one shoots 1-inch groups all day long in a Ruger No. 1), the second is a couple of grains under max of IMR 4064 with either the Winchester or Hornady 150-grain jacketed soft point (both bullets work equally well, and this load is a tack driver in my Model 70), and the third is a max IMR 4064 load with the Remington 180-grain jacketed soft point (that’s the accuracy load in my Browning B-78).

Every rifle has a load it prefers, though, and this custom Howa is no exception.   Here’s the secret sauce:

The load shown in the photos above is not a hunting load (the Sierra Matchkings would sail right through an animal without much expansion), but it sure is accurate and it doesn’t take much to kill a paper target.  I like to think my marksmanship has improved with age; I probably ought to find some 760 powder and load a few more to see if I could better the groups you see above.

In the 1960s and 1970s (and on into the 1980s), there used to be several companies offering semi-inletted rifle stocks, but that business has largely gone away.  There’s still Richard’s Microfit in the Valley; I used them for a .375 Ruger project I did about 5 years ago (and I could go there and personally select the wood I wanted).

Some of the gunstock companies were mismanaged and took shortcuts that bankrupted them, but I think the real reasons they folded fall into two categories.  The first is that not many people want to expend the effort it takes to create a custom rifle like the one you see here, and most folks don’t have the skills to do so.  Shop courses disappeared in the US a long time ago, and most people today are more adept at things like at operating a cell phone and posting on Facebook.

Another reason is that very few people want a rifle with real wood.  Black plastic is all the rage. I was on the range last week, it was fairly busy, and I was literally the only guy shooting a rifle that didn’t have a Tupperware stock (everyone fancies themselves an operator; few have ever worn a uniform).  Not that there’s anything wrong with that if a modern military rifle is what floats your boat, and there are some fine custom builds (as outlined in Jake Lawson’s blog last week).

Hell, even if you wanted to build a custom rifle like the one you see here, it’s hard to find a barreled action.  In the 1970s it was not unusual for rifle companies to sell barreled actions; today, the only outfit I know of that does so is Howa and you don’t see them too often.  If you come across one, let me know.  I could go for another project.


More Tales of the Gun stories!

Concluding an Extended Stay in Baja

You’ll remember our intrepid troopers and guest bloggers Mike and Bobbie. Well, they managed to exit beautiful Baja after an extended stay of nearly 10 weeks.   Here’s the wrap-up to that adventure.  Mike, we appreciate your blogs.  Ride safe and stay in touch.


Preface: When we last left our heroes (the description probably suits my girlfriend Bobbie more than myself) we were in staying in with a new friend at her house in San Felipe, Baja, Mexico to see what comes next with the COVID19 updates in the USA before deciding when to return.

San Felipe seemed the perfect place to ride out the COVID storm. We were in a safe location, plenty of supplies at local stores and the residents seemed to take the warning seriously and were wearing masks, using hand sanitizer, etc. It didn’t take long, however, for most public beaches and really everything to be shut down. Traveling too far outside the city became impossible due to Mexican Army checkpoints turning people around, so it wasn’t worth the risk to be actually “locked out abroad.”

There was one private beach that remained open that we were able to use and moto camp in, and that was Pete’s camp. We had camped here 6 weeks prior when the world was quite different and the camp was about 70% full with campers, with side-by-sides roaring up and down the beach playing Van Halen at an uncomfortable decibel level (and I love Van Halen loud), and everyone was carefree enjoying their vacations. Now, however, the scene was completely different. The beach was abandoned, it was eerily silent with nothing but us and approximately a hundred empty palapas on the beach for miles in both directions. We frequented this beach a few times a week as it was a short 4-mile ride and was our only opportunity to really get out as we cut back on our off-roading in the event we should get injured.

We fully understood how fortunate we were to be lying in hammocks, soaking up the sun on a beautiful beach that kissed the Sea of Cortez while we watched the surreal news that was coming in from America. We held weekly touch points on when and where we should go, if anywhere. Wednesday was an optimal day for these touch points since our plans would have us leave on a Friday thus allowing us 3 days to return to Arizona.

After a month we decided it was time to return as it seemed the supplies (toilet paper, etc.) were being replenished in America while the COVID fatalities seemed to be lowering and our concern that the bubble we were living in would burst quickly if (or when) the virus would make its way to Baja. More importantly, it gave us a solid excuse to get a great weekend of riding in.

We left on a Thursday afternoon to return to the United States. The ride was beautiful. There was NO line at the border to the point I almost didn’t even place the moto in neutral when going through, whereas normally there is a 1 to 3 hour line. Once inside the United States we were a bit hungry and noticed only drive thrus were open, so we got creative and set up our camping gear outside a Chili’s and had several margaritas (probably not legal, but there’s a pandemic; act accordingly!) and a burger in the parking lot.

We had eyed Kofa National Forest as a decent place to camp, and I had always wanted to visit this area so this was a perfect time since it was extremely isolated. This ensured there’d be no temptations to break social distancing. We were not disappointed in choosing this location. It was a beautiful desert landscape with the setting sun lighting up the mountains surrounding our campsite. The weather was perfect and we could take a moment to gather ourselves with it being our 1st night back in our home country in some time.

The following day after getting McDonald’s for breakfast (don’t judge; I couldn’t find a Starbucks open for my BMW to get its fix) Bobbie came up with a different route then just the boring I-10 to I-17 we normally take. Great call! It made what would have been a drab highway drive into a longer, but much more scenic ride through little towns and National Forests, where we could really enjoy the break from everything and just be in that moment fully present and enjoying each moment as we lowered off the mountain passes returning to Sedona, and for a few hours forget about the rest of the world as we returned safely home after our nearly 10-week Baja adventure.


So these two adventure riders are on the road, and at last sighting, they were camping in Colorado’s beautiful Mesa Verde National Park.  Our two troopers are living the good life.   I’m looking forward to their next blog.

All the way, folks.

Guilt trips…

I haven’t been riding the new Enfield all that much since I bought it, which was exactly one week before the virus hit our shores.   You know, Covid 19, the lockdown, autonomous zone crises, and all that.  And as a consequence, I’ve come under heavy criticism from two good buddies for my failure to accumulate miles on the Taj Mahal (as I sometimes refer to my orange Interceptor).

“I can’t believe you’re not riding that new Enfield all the time,” said Joe Gresh.  Guilt.  The guy reminds me of my Mom.  You should try riding across China with him.

And then after I published that bit about getting out on the RX3, good buddy Rob had to weigh in:  “Take the Enfield on the same road,” he said.  “It will be a completely different ride.”  Guilt again.  If you don’t believe me, read the comments on the RX3 blog a few entries down.  Rob, a guy who rode with us on the Western America Adventure Ride.  He was waiting for us on a lawn chair by the side of the road early in the morning when we first met, already suited up, just before we crossed into Idaho.  Rob’s RX3 was parked right alongside, both man and motorcycle ready to roll as soon as we approached so we wouldn’t have to wait. He seemed like such a nice guy back then.

Well, it worked, guys.  Your guilt tripping got me out on the Enfield two days later, and it was awesome.  I didn’t do the Glendora Ridge Road ride, but I was up in the San Gabriels.  The very eastern end of that range, actually, riding deep into those glorious So Cal mountains through the little town of Lytle Creek.  I went right past the West End Gun Club without stopping to send lead downrange, and that doesn’t happen too often.  Not stopping in, that is.

So this is another one of those blogs where I’ll let the photos do the talking.  Here we go, folks.

The first time I ever put gas in the new Enfield, and it returned 58 mpg and change. That’s consistent with what I saw on the first tankful on the Enfield I rode in Baja. By the end of that trip (nearly 1500 miles later), the bike was consistently getting between 70 and 72 mpg. Not too shabby for a 650 twin.
This is a good-looking motorcycle. My good buddy Art over at Douglas Motorcycles gave me a hell of a deal on it.
Sorry, I couldn’t resist. I take a good photo. I look better in a full face helmet, people tell me.
Not today, but I had to stop for the photo op.  Top gun. That’s what I want to be.
You could interpret that sign to mean it’s okay to shoot at my street legal vehicle. Time to move along.
Ah, the great San Gabriels, just west of the little town of Lytle Creek. The road dead ends a few miles further.
A man, a motorcycle, America, and a mirror. Gets me every time.
Time to open her up a bit. But not too much. I’m still breaking in the Royal Enfield.
Editors hate these “motorcycle by the side of the road” shots. I kind of like them, especially when the road is in the San Gabriels.
And finally, re-entering the burbs. Lawrence of Suburbia, as Gresh sometimes calls me.  Look at those donuts.  There’s probably 20,000 miles of tire wear there;  the guy who did it probably owns stock in a tire company.  I used to have tire company shares when I worked for GenCorp, the corporation that owns General Tire, but that’s a story for another blog.

Wanna know a secret?  The ride above occurred several days ago.  I went for another ride this past Friday with good buddy Duane.  Duane was on his Indian, a motorcycle made in America.  I was on my Enfield, formerly a British motorcycle but now made in India.  As you can see above, the Enfield is a glorious orange and that’s the fastest color…just ask my good buddy Orlando (about the orange thing, that is).  Duane and I had a hell of a ride, and along the way we bumped into good buddies Steve and Rosemary by Silverwood.  But that, too, is a story for another blog.  Stay tuned!


Want to read about the Royal Enfield ride in Baja?   Just click here!  Want to know more about the CSC RX3 I mentioned above?  The skinny is just a click away.  Are you interested in a killer deal on a Triumph or a Royal Enfield?  Check out Douglas Motorcycles in San Bernardino!


Want to read a story about another beautiful motorcycle?  Motorcycle Classics recently published my piece about good buddy Steve’s stunning and brilliantly bright red ’82 Yamaha Seca.   You can read it here.

A Good Crisis

Good buddy Jake Lawson sent us a marvelous guest blog on his new Israeli Weapon Industries Tavor X95 (the one you see in the photo below), and it sure is an interesting story.  Folks, this man can write!  Enjoy.  I sure did.


I wasn’t raised to respect Lego rifles.

There was no implication of egalitarianism in Dad’s gun culture: firearms were reserved for the martial few who took to the hills in Wranglers to provide for family, tribe, and the community of soft-handed city folk who’d never eaten brains for breakfast. We Lawsons, I was given to understand, descended from hunters and warriors and gamekeepers. We were special and worthy. We harbored innate skills.

Those blood-honed instincts were best served by very special rifles, furnished like Victorian houses and smelling, always, faintly of Hoppe’s No. 9 (we pronounced it “hoppies” and you should, too). I was occasionally loosed to wander wide-eyed through legendary temples like Kesselring’s while Dad traded country-boy bons mots with the staff. They’d nod at each other with the unspoken recognition of cowboys, bikers, and Seventh Day Adventists. Through the slanting half-light of well-secured buildings, racks of gleaming fire sticks whispered strong magic from the past, waiting like Excalibur to leap lively under the hand of a righteous knight.

Like classic hardware stores before canvas aprons gave way to the Playskool smocks of “home centers,” bygone gun stores offered only gradual apprenticeships into the mysteries. You started knee-high and – provided you paid respectful attention – you might one day grow into a man worth reckoning with. We had no internet to spawn new lingo by the day. You absorbed the patois the way artists learned line and color, with dawning awareness that most of the wisdom lay between the lines.

In those quieter times you could buy a rifle in most any variety store, but a man went to the altars of the elect to discuss blued, two-piece scope rings, buy a seasonal box of Winchester Silvertips, and run his fingers over the saddle straps of fine, leather scabbards. Those places, mostly killed off by Discount Gun Stores and their ilk, barely exist today. Where you find them, they’re secured by crabby, clannish insiders, guarding their diminishing cache of unique knowledge like tattered dragons squatting on a pile of dimes.

The full flower of our information age democratized knowledge on any number of subjects. This is largely a good thing. Who doesn’t want to download the part number for their dishwasher inlet valve alongside a quick, friendly video reminding you to wrap brass threads in nylon tape?

The internet also gave rise to tens of millions of Shake ‘n Bake™ experts who can quote the ballistics by range of 5.56mm 55-grain FMJ slugs but have never once shot a deer, bedded a walnut forend, or cleaned weapons to an armorer’s satisfaction.

Erupting angora-soft neck beards through scarlet fields of pimples, less good ol’ boys than fresh-faced kids, these are our experts now. Good-humored and alert, they staff brightly lit gun stores where you no longer ballpoint your way through BATF forms while leaning on the glass over surplus police revolvers, joking with someone’s crinkle-eyed uncle about your mental incapacities, but instead enter your digits into a dumb terminal, squatting humorlessly in the corner of a repurposed Blockbuster Video store that still reeks of Citrisolv. Lean hill hunters in woolen plaid are nowhere in sight, replaced by pasty Glock jocks sporting 5.11 Tactical trousers. The gun tech surely is better – so much better that you can build a reliable weapon on your kitchen table with no tooling more exotic than a wobbly drill press – but long glass cases littered with sci-fi props, zombie targets, and pimped-out banger bling make me miss my father’s Oldsmobile.

And there are AR-15s. So many AR-15s, in so many configurations, that kids today don’t say “my rifle” anymore. They call their gun “this build.”

Decades ago, I’d already had enough of M16s and their multifarious cousins: A1s, CAR-15s, A2s, SOPMODs, A4s, et al. Sure, they’re cool in those movies where Arnold gets 160 rounds out of every mag and never has a stoppage, but let’s get real: standing a pre-’64 Winnie up against a tac stack of AR-pattern rifles is like pushing Howie Long, wearing a Saville Row suit, into a police line-up of minor-in-possession suspects. Class or crass: pick one, and move along.

Having toted an M4 carbine across someone else’s desert at taxpayer expense, I conceived no special desire to spend a thousand bucks adopting one of my very own. I’d mistrusted those plasticky things since childhood. What kind of war weapon bitches like a parent when you don’t close the door? M1 Garands and M1911 Colts didn’t jam under fire! Mattel rifles?! I was sick of ‘em: sick of the Chevy 350 ubiquity of “modern sporting rifles,” sick of the little “oh s&!t” springs that zing away any time you don’t pay attention, and sick of dangling one from a single-point bungee sling, tied off to a 40-lb. shirt. I’d gone to work with my M4, slept with it, eaten with it, prayed with it, and I didn’t miss it for one lonely moment after our long-overdue divorce.

At some point, I realized that I’d gone my whole life without buying a rifle.

Now, this isn’t the hardship one might imagine. Most of us don’t need a rifle. I don’t need a rifle – and if I did, I could always peck open the safe and pull out the .30-30 I got as a Christmas present the year I joined up with Boy Scouts of America, or the pre-war .30-06 with its first series Leupold Gold Ring 3-9X scope that came down to me from Grandpa through Dad, or the .22 with the 4X Weaver that – strike that; I actually passed that one along to my mother-in-law to pop rattlers in her Arizona garden.

Or I could pull one of the rifles from the other side of the safe, where Pretty Wife’s inheritance encompasses more firepower than my own.

We’re not wealthy folks. Intrigued though I may be by long-range shooting, a Savage 110 with Accu-Trigger and a big honkin’ optic – let alone something fancy from Accuracy International – is not a hobby within my budget. It’s entirely too easy to shoot through two hundred bucks a day in ought-six or .308 ammunition, just getting the feel of things.

Also, that’s tougher on a rebuilt shoulder than I like to confess.

But still, I’d never bought a rifle. Never shopped for one “with intent,” never spec’ed one out just for me. Every long arm I’d shot was a loaner, a gift, an inheritance, or a duty weapon. That thought came to me from time to time and I pushed it down, and then it came tickling back. Some of those middle-aged tickles grow compelling. Plus I hearken to my sweetie’s frequent admonition to “have your midlife crises early, and often.”

Did I mention I’d never bought a rifle? According to family tradition, I still haven’t.

Oh, I had my aspirations. A bolt-action gun with a stainless, free-floated, heavy match barrel. A McMillen stock adjustable for comb height and length of pull, or maybe a thumbhole stock I carved myself from Circassian walnut, with a shoulder plate of polished ebony. Big scope, adjustable for ranges to infinity and beyond, with the kind of chambering that requires a dope card just to open the cartridge box: .338 Lapua, maybe.

Being more of a dream than a plan, that did not happen. For the record, I do not believe it will. In any event, I have the character more of a hip shooter than a sniper. I perform best when I think less. At least, that’s my excuse for all the busted plans in my life.

Hip shooters favor short rifles. They’re just easier to get through the door, whether that’s a HMMWV door or my bedroom door. Think more along the lines of Steve McQueen’s “mare’s leg” in Wanted Dead or Alive than the .45-110 Shiloh Sharps from Quigley Down Under.

Stubby rifles get a bad rap, though. As alleged “assault rifles,” they’re considered truculent by dint of terminology. The region where I live, always a “shall-issue” state due to our supreme court’s historic interpretations of Article I, Section 24 of the state constitution, swiftly retreats from our Wild West past.

There was an Ernst Home Center just down the road from the house where I lived through high school. It sold potted plants, plywood, drywall anchors, and guns. Nose-printed showcases lining the west wall displayed rows of Dan Wesson Pistol Packs boasting various selections of interchangeably-barreled revolvers, and I can remember wondering whether I’d need to be 18, or 21, to walk in and buy one of those O.G. “Lego guns,” right over the counter. Their big shrouds and barrel nuts made them a little funny-lookin’, but I didn’t mind too much.

There are waiting periods now, of course. Those have been legislatively hip for a while now, but recently my state went all-in on protecting us from the law-abiding. Now that semi-automatic rifles are considered a greater threat to society than pistols (a statistically unsupportable politifact), 18 year-old adults may no longer buy them here. Even those of us well past drinking age face the same ten-day waiting period for semi-auto rifles as for a handgun.

Year before last, possession of a Washington CCW meant that a citizen with such clearly documented legal standing could buy any legal weapon, from a long-mag Glock to a Barrett .50, without a waiting period or additional background check. That privilege recently vanished. Every single gun transfer, of every type, now requires a background check – including selling your old deer rifle to your cousin, or gifting it along to your daughter.

Strange times.

Now, in all honesty, none of that prevented an old cuss like me from buying an “assault rifle” any time I felt enough like it to muster the funds. However, two more laws now grind through our legislature: one to limit magazines to California’s ten-round max capacity, and the other an outright ban on “assault rifles.” Our Attorney General’s legislation request defines assault rifles as having a telescoping stock, pistol grip, detachable high-capacity magazine, forward grip, or a “combination flash suppressor and muzzle brake” (i.e. any M16-style bird cage) that “reduces muzzle climb and preserves shooter’s eyesight.”  Black rifles do not matter to Bob Ferguson. Neither, apparently, does a shooter’s eyesight.

Well, now. If there’s one way to make me want a thing, it’s to forbid it. All too human that way, I set about making my pitch to Pretty Wife. In these Trumpian times, a liberal activist like she just might respond perversely to me stocking in a practical little rifle.

Spoiler alert: it worked.

Again, I’ve never been much for customizing guns. That was gunsmith work when I was a tot, and my habits were formed then. No machine shop tools = no bore-sighted scope mounting (I don’t remember us calling them “optics” in the day).

Everything was some level of bespoke, back when. Even the humblest rifles were graced with pretty wooden stocks, inletted by the hands of people who cared. Bluing required preservation, and even when scrupulously cared for would slowly sacrifice itself over time, fading into colors soft and gentle as wisps of your grandmother’s hair.

Bought, issued, or given, the thing came to you as a piece of kinetic, mechanical art; wrought from the disparate elements of tree flesh, steel, bluing, oil, chrome, and smokeless powder. For me, rifles were objects of reverence in the manner of excellent tools: taught to sons as a secret language, and handed forward across generations.

Today’s guns are not that; surely especially not the jangle-parts “black rifles” that have ruthlessly displaced .30-30 Marlins as basic, go-to units for American rifle(wo)men. MSRs seem closer akin to the power tools at your home center: you may notice brand quality differences between Milwaukee (Colt) and Ridgid (KelTec), but you must delve much deeper into specialty retail to find heirloom-quality marques like Mafell (Blaser).

On the plus side, plastic-stocked rifles are utterly modular and have more accessories available than the H.O. train sets of my youth. In the future we now occupy, gun parts rain from the internet sky, fully engaging the tinkering mind.

As mentioned, I’m not sitting on a big go-to-Hell budget. When I shake a few nickels out of the sofa, they normally go toward tools &/or supplies for home improvement.

Yes, we’re still working on our house. We’ll likely be working on it on the day I die. Hopefully, between then and now, I’ll set aside a few hours to knock together a pine box for my carcass.

However, everything is situational. Rahm Emmanuel once exhorted, “Never let a serious crisis go to waste.” So it was when mean bubbas got meaner about Jews at around the same time our state government decided to restrict “assault rifles” that I pled my case for picking up a Hebrew Hammer… y’know, just in case we might need it. Better to have it and not need it than need it and not have it, right?

As mentioned, AR-pattern guns remain the most modular, not to say popular, sporting rifles on the planet. With upgrades and spares available for everything from the flash hider to the buffer spring, they’re the small-block Chevy of rifles. Problem is, I’m “that guy” – the sentimental boob who buys a flathead Ford, just to be different.

Or because he’d already spent so much time behind the wheel of a Chevy that the Corvettes started to feel like Caprice Classics. I’ve shot a few friends’ AR-15s, and (obviously) put in trigger time on Colt’s (and GM Hydramatic Division’s) M16A1 and A2. I’m good enough on a rifle-mounted M203 to bloop a 40mm grenade through a small window a couple hundred yards out; have put in range time (one-way and two-way) on the slightly odd M249 SAW; and I deployed with an ACOG-equipped M4.

So, lots of black rifle exposure.

Enough is enough and I’m sick to death of picking carbon out of the bolt faces and forcing cones of direct-impingement rifles. Filthy buggers, and still – after half a century of development! – stupidly prone to jamming. Jack’s rule for outdoor fun: if you have to keep snapping shut a modesty panel to keep your rifle’s bikini line shaved, someone made a questionable design choice.

I did want to shoot 5.56 NATO, though. It is to me what .30-06 M2 Ball was to WWII vets: familiar and readily available. It’s light to carry. It shoots pretty flat. It’s a ton cheaper than 7.62 NATO if you don’t reload (which I don’t), has low recoil and high velocity, and I know the ballistics by instinct.

After a couple hun’nerd hours of pleasant research, I dropped a notable sum for a chunky bullpup from the Promised Land of Zion, the Israeli Weapon Industries Tavor X95, and it is one cute rig. Despite our possible impending mag ban, I didn’t buy a bunch of bananas. For some reason, I seem to have a dozen or two of them already lying around.

The plastic-chassis X95 ships in IDF black, “Flat Dark Earth” (light brown), or O.D. Green. Mine is the green, since it was available and I wanted not-black. Sue me. I’ve shot enough black rifles for two lifetimes.

I was stoked! When it came in, I trotted straight up to Precise Shooter L.L.C. and keyboarded my way through the computerized interrogation. Forking over the not-inconsiderable cash, I smuggled it home to play with it. First discovery: it comes apart easy as an AK. Punching a single pin flips open the overstuffed, La-Z-Boy butt cap (required to keep it legally lengthy), and you can slide out the gas piston works. Two pins more, and the trigger pack drops into your palm.

With 500 rounds and a clutch of extremely well-traveled “high capacity magazines” sleeping in an old .50-cal. can, I was all set to go terrorize some paper.

Yet there it sleeps, in our big, speckle-coated Cabela’s box, still waiting for me to go shoot it because I blew my entire budget on the carbine. My X95 bristles with virtues – it’s short and handy; conveniently modular; battle-proven; and reliable as a blacksmith vise – but an economical buy-in price does not number among its pleasures.

And I wanted an optic.

I was still saving up for one on the day we found ourselves smack amidst the next available serious crisis: coronavirus! Plus Australia on fire, locusts straight out of the Book of Revelation swarming over Africa, police riots from sea to shining sea, murder hornets illegally immigrating four towns to the north.

“Basically,” as the good Dr. Venkman said, “the worst parts of the Bible.”

I would fix it with retail!

Pretty Wife was probably told about the pre-battlesight-zeroed, snappy little iron sights that defilade themselves flat into the carbine’s topside Picatinny rail, but I somehow don’t think that information took hold. If it did, she forgot about it somewhere between Initiative 1639 and now.

Once again, we had “the talk.”

This is a different talk than the one your dad had with you before high school. More like a negotiation, really. A sensitive one, at that. Once again, it turned out I’m more charming than I knew.

What? Is it my fault she loves me?

Following even more enjoyable research hours, I settled on a MEPRO Pro V2 from redoubtable IDF supplier Meprolight. It retailed for 600 bones, but Optics Planet had it for $550, with another fifty bucks off for St. Patrick’s Day. It’s well-reviewed on their site, and elsewhere.

One funky thing about a Tavor is that the comb is groundsnake-level to the top rail, forcing the use of a high (read “expen$ive”) mount for AR-optimized optics. And one funky thing about yours truly is that I tend to break stuff.

The Mepro has me covered on both fronts: the Israelis GI-proofed it for use by conscripts slogging through an eternal war zone, and they sized it specifically to mount on their front-line service rifle. That’s what the Tavor is (my version is the U.S. model, so no giggle switch but at least it isn’t black). Which is to say that both gun and gunsight were apocalypse-proofed by apocalypse experts.

“Expensive but hard to break” is how I grew to ride BMW motorcycles and to stock my shop with General International and Milwaukee and Record Power trade tools, and when I can pull it off I rarely regret that economic model.

My red-dotter hit the porch a couple of weeks ago. After side-eyeing its package for four days to see if any militant viruses leapt off, I pulled it out and cammed it onto the rail. Just to be sure it was tough enough (okay, actually because my spine’s last will & testament bequeathed me a permanent case of butterfingers), I dropped it onto my bench.

Twice.

Then once onto a concrete floor, just to be sure. Din’t seem to faze ‘er none.

I like the circled, 1.8-mil red dot more than others I’ve sampled, which are EOTech and the M68 (MIL-SPEC version of Aimpoint). It shows up well on every setting (except IR, obviously), and I figure I’ll be able to shoot it pretty well with both eyes open. That’s becoming important with the growth spurt of my bouncing baby cataracts. I also like that its dust- and water-sealed power compartment requires nothing more exotic than a lone, double-A battery.

In another life, I ran range strings with an EOTech mounted on an M4. This optic inspires the same effortless targeting (hi, neighbors!), though hopefully without the fragility and short battery life of those earlier “picture window” sights. Reportedly, it runs for a dog’s age on that regular ol’ double-A, has auto-off and motion-restart, and is waterproof to a few meters’ depth. It’s also supposed to be mud- and sand-resistant, which is important given that the rifle it’s mounted on definitely is – there are torture test videos on YouTube showing military Tavors yanked out of sloppy mud holes and saltwater baths, then immediately loaded and fired full-auto without a pause for cleaning.

We’ll see. Again: I am known for breaking stuff.

I tried positioning the MEPRO in a couple different spots along the ridge rail, before I latched its nose into a photo finish with the charging handle’s rest position. Bonus of sticking to factory racing parts: with the backup iron sights erected, the peep and blade line right up spot-on with the orange bullseye. Still no gunsmithing. All I did was to press the mount forward against the rail teeth as I folded in the cam levers (the direction recoil will push it), and peer through it.

Zeroing should be a lolly. Once my submontane range reopens, I plan to adjust fire to an average two and a half inches low at 25 yards, then walk out the strings to 100m and see how my groups hold up. May change POI later, depending on ammo selection (it’s a Boolean for me: XM193 or XM855, with a mild preference for the latter), and on how it prints at 100 meters.

With its 16.5” barrel, my bullpup’s overall ballistics shouldn’t vary much from an AR15, but the ballistic arc will likely be “bloopier” due to a sighting axis about an inch higher over the bore. The V2’s half-mil clicks won’t make a precision rig out of it, but this is a battle rifle. I’ll be content if it shoots into 3 MOA at 100, and can tag a championship Frisbee at 300. If I can squeeze ‘er under 2 MOA with its suspiciously Kalashnikovian guts and my trifocaled eyes, I’ll be ecstatic.

So the sight is all mounted up and there’s ammo on the shelf, but I still can’t shoot it. In our gone-viral age, it seems rifle ranges aren’t yet considered “essential business.” Not that I disagree with that. I just like to fuss.

So I went back to shopping. There are but few American anxieties fully resistant to retail therapy.

One of the spiffy, gunsmith-obviating features of the X95 is that its forend panels literally slide off at the touch of a button. You’ll discover one Picatinny rail under the bottom and another to either side of the front stock, each with its own quick-detach cover. Cool kids these days are all into KEYMOD or Magpul’s M-LOK system, but rails are solid and battle-tested. Grandpa would approve.

I decided I might want a “broomstick,” and would definitely want to mount a flashlight. For home defense, a short rifle beats the ever-lovin’ snot out of a long shotgun (that’s my opinion, worth what you paid). That augured in favor of a forward grip and weapon light.

Here’s the rub, though: the little sumbitch is like Yoda, short and stumpy with the gravitational pull of a black hole. While noticeably smaller than a stubby M4 with its federally controlled 14.5” barrel, the Tavor weighs as much empty (7.9 lbs.) as an M16A1 weighs with 30 rounds in the hopper. Not only do I disdain larding up guns with excess ballast, I also hate hanging snaggy accessories off the nose of a rifle (I’m talkin’ to you, AN/PEQ-2!). When it comes to clearing rooms, the slicker, the better.

While poking around the merch sites and cheerful chat rooms of the gunweb, I found a FAB Defense forward grip on closeout, again from Optics Planet (full disclosure: I also suckered for their doorbuster-priced knife, a meaty and smooth-opening Chinese folder for under eight bucks). The FAB grip is rigged to mount a one-inch, rear-switch flashlight à la Streamlight or Surefire. It has a grip trigger to turn on the lights and (yes, really) a cross-bolt safety to prevent accidental illuminations.

It’s a pretty slick gizmo, plastic but solidly cast. FAB sustains a good rep, and I like the idea of NOT having the flashlight lashed to the side rail like a Fury Road War Boy hanging off an overclocked rat rod. The green is probably not perfectly matched to my rifle’s plastic, but I’m partially RG-colorblind and it looks just fine to me.

Will I come off like a pimply, overcompensating mall ninja with no real-world experience when I yank out this Ghostbuster wand at the range? Most certainly. I just don’t give a large rodent’s sphincter.

Speaking of pulling it out, I also settled on a case from which to pull it. IWI pushes a stout bag, knotted over with MOLLE gingerbread, for about 150 bucks. For reasons obvious to adults, I wanted something less “gunny” looking, so I ordered up SAVIOR Equipment’s “American Classic Tactical Double Short Rifle Gun Case Firearm Bag” in 28″ length.

That’s a lot of words to describe a bag that costs less than fifty bucks!

And yes, you read that right: in 28″ length. The overall length of my bullpup is 26.4 inches. The overall length of the “spec ops cool guy” M4 that I toted in Iraq was 29.75 inches with the stock fully collapsed – and it had a 1.8-inch shorter barrel (same 1:7 rifling twist rate, though).

The bag is superb – not “pretty good for a third of the price,” but actually superb. Based on a lot of squinting at marketing pictures, it seems likely that it was stitched up in the same Chinese factory as IWI’s case, with the only noticeable difference being omission of the tacti-kewl MOLLE straps. My case is not green, black, or “flat dark earth,” but a business-like light grey, suitable for office tower or racquet club.

I don’t want to be a mall ninja everywhere.

Inside, it’s festooned with handy pockets, including not one but TWO rifle compartments. There’s additional space for a couple of handguns, cleaning kit, tools, spares, accessories, and fitted pockets for 18 USGI magazines loaded with 5.56 NATO (that’s 540 rounds, or more pork than adding TWO additional carbines to my double-rifle range bag). All this in a case that measures two feet, four inches long.

On the outside, it’s snugly padded with sturdy zippers, tie-down straps over each pocket, and handle straps circumstraddling the belly of the bag. There are metal D-rings for the padded shoulder strap. All told, this bag is ready to carry far more than I’m prepared to stuff it with.

Did I mention it’s 28 inches long? It’s TWENTY-EIGHT INCHES LONG! Looks like a dang tennis bag.

Not long after the bag hit our porch, it was followed by a Surefire G2X Tactical LED flashlight that snugs perfectly into the FAB grip, which itself turns out to have a quick-detach function: punch a button on the left side, and it slides off, with flashlight aboard, to transform into a “light pistol” separate from the weapon. Handy, I suppose, for those times when you want to check what’s happening across the backyard without actually aiming a rifle at your daughter’s fleeing boyfriend.

Or your granddaughter’s.

The weapon light, mounted, projects beyond the flash hider of my Tavor. Happily, the whole rig still fits into that cheap, sturdy bag that cost me less than an accessory port cover.

While Tavors may never achieve the teeming fettler’s aftermarket of the AR15, Manticore Arms has invested big design time into engineering tasty treats for it. I whiled a few pleasant hours dreaming my way through their catalog, as well.

One criticism of the X95 relates to modular reversibility. To make it easily switchable from right- to left-handed firers, it’s built with ejection ports on either side. Because it’s a bullpup, the unused ejection port lurks around the corner of your mouth. The factory’s plastic port cover allegedly does a poor job of controlling renegade gas discharge around its edges, resulting in the grey-black cheek bloom known as “Tavor face.” Apparently, that gets worse under suppressed fire.

Although I don’t plan to run a suppressor, Manticore’s gasketed port cover is just ded sexy: two meticulously machined, black anodized panels sandwich a rubber gasket that bulges from the edges to seal the port hermetically. As a tidy bonus, Manticore’s port bling adds an extra QD mount for sling attachment, because why not?

Added to the factory-installed tackle, that gives me four (4) QD points on the cheek side (one of which is reversible to the other side), and two on the off side.

Speaking of slings, I went for a quick-adjust, padded Vickers Combat Applications sling from Blue Force Gear (back in the days before our world melted, “blue force” meant the good guys and “red team” was the opposition force, and that’s already more political than gun writing should ever get).

Because IWI thoughtfully included two stout QD swivels in the rifle box, I ordered my sling naked and saved $25.00. With a sale price at Optics Planet, that reduced expenditures for this well-regarded slippy-strap to solidly 30 bucks less than IWI wants for their convertible one- or two-point Savvy Sniper sling (I’m unlikely ever again to have use for a single-point sling).

My sling showed up in dirt-ignoring Coyote Brown. Tropical Camouflage seemed a bit over the top for our Pacific NW rain forests. Also, see under “I’ve had enough of black.”

What to say about a sling I haven’t taken anywhere yet? It’s comfortable; it’s slick to adjust, and I felt pretty silly after about a minute of standing in my office, running the adjustment tab up and down to practice shouldering my bangstick. Zing! Zing! Beware, dust bunnies!

Somewhen during this card-melting retail frenzy, I bought myself a ShootingSight “TAV-TOOL” from Bullpup Armory for about forty clams. This is a jacknife-style gizmo I really wanted to like, particularly since it includes the occasionally important barrel wrench (fifteen bucks OEM, all by itself). Although regrettably floppy and cheaply finished, the TAV-TOOL found a place in my range bag. Between that and a Leatherman Wave, I can cover most any fiddling that I’d take on away from home. Like a bicycle multitool, it may not be much good but its yellow-lettered bulk keeps me from losing whichever slim, black fiddle probe I need. Right. NOW.

More research on the aforementioned port cover revealed that the plastic chassis of my X95 might release gas, not only from the unused ejection port (now sealed up like Grant’s Tomb) but also from under the hind end of the top Picatinny rail. Encasing gas blooms in a plastic chassis results in a farty little beast. It’s probably the single most prevalent criticism of the gun. As a guy still annoyed by all the CLP eyewash I collected while trying to keep old Stoner platforms running I wasn’t overly concerned, but I had time on my hands.

Other owners have published various solutions, including smearing RV sealant all around the stock/rail junction. That sounded… nasty. Obviously, I don’t mind messing with my rifle. In early spring, that was what I set out to do.

I’m just not ready to mess up my rifle. Did I mention I’d never bought a new rifle before? Shoot, pard, it ain’t even been to the range yet!

No schmear here.

Turns out, IWI posted a little video on their site to address this exact issue. They suggest mounting a rail cover right at the back of the rail and shoving an IWI-logo, rubber zipper pull (full disclosure: I have one on my shop vest) under the back edge. Simple, eh? Though it does beg the question: if gas leakage is so easy to fix, why is it still an issue left for owners to solve? Reminds me of the ignition coils on cam belt Ducatis, but I digress…

Shopping for rail covers was a novel experience. Seems most of ‘em are purpose-built to make me walk tall and talk loud, banged out of aluminum and customized with silk-screened patriotism ranging from Punisher skulls to Bible verses – and they’re about 25 bucks a pop, too!

Enter Wal-Mart, carrying a bagful of rail covers from Acid Tactical (a woman-owned company, they proudly announce). Looking like tiny, rubber, desert tortoise shells in Flat Dark Earth, they cost $8.99 a dozen.

Shipping was free.

Since so many of them tumbled out of the cellophane sack, I went ahead and snapped ‘em on anywhere rail teeth might bite: behind the flashlight-enabled ghetto grip, and everywhere along the top rail not already covered by Meprolight’s finest.

Back, ye gases! Avaunt!

All dressed up and no place to go, I was really getting the itch to go shooting, but it still isn’t a thing here. Three more weeks, and my chosen range just might open… meantime, what else could I play with?

SBRs (“short-barreled rifles”) are any kind of rifle that’s cut-down for maneuverability. These are considered double-secret probation-level subversions of federal intent, here in the Land of the Free. They’re the assaultiest of assault rifles. You can order an upper receiver for an AR-15 with a 14-inch, 11.5-inch, 10.5-inch or even 7.5-inch barrel. This will make your black rifle shorter, MUCH louder, faster wearing, less reliable – and instantly felonious without a $200, recorded tax stamp from the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, and Firearms, AKA “the fun police.”

As mentioned early on in this model builder’s manifesto, an X95 doesn’t need its pipe sawn short to be handy in a pinch. Even with its 16.5” barrel, the Tavor is just 26.4” long. Any shorter would require that same SBR signoff from BATF, because there’s a statutory minimum overall length to go with the statutory minimum barrel length.

Of course, people generally rob banks with pistols and a note. Even the shortest SBR is a whole lot harder to conceal than a garden variety SIG, and not a whole lot scarier. A muzzle in your face is a muzzle in your face, right?

Strike that. The Tavor is actually closer to twenty-EIGHT inches with its flash hider screwed in place. Now, like most modern rifles, my carbine has never had its flash hider removed. The thing is gummed on with thread sealant and horsed into place with a wrench, and here’s one of many places where our laws get weird.

To make Tavors ATF-compliant, IWI fits them with a U.S.-only, double-stuffed butt pad that adds an inch-plus to length of pull (i.e. distance from trigger to butt). There are few rifle rounds that recoil more softly than 5.56 NATO fired from a gas piston gun weighing damn near nine pounds, but this callipygous rump is their solution to legality.

To understand just how silly that is, realize that the butt pad swings open when you drive out one pin, and falls right off if you then back a single screw out of a cross pin. You can change it with a pocketknife much more easily than you can denude the threaded muzzle, but there you have it: the stock is officially permanent, and the birdcage fungible, unless and until I drill a hole through the flash hider, into the barrel, and seize the whole works tight by brazing in a steel pin. I won’t do it. I’m averse to vandalizing new products for superficial security concerns and besides, having more options remains superior to having fewer options.

Manticore Arms produces a curved butt pad that somewhat restores the designed LOP and retains legal length, thanks to its hooked-top profile. It runs close to 70 bucks.

Here’s what I found out, though. One of the parts available for the X95 is the IDF’s flat butt plate. It’s legal in Canada and, presumably, in the U.S.A. if you have an 18.5”-barrel Tavor. Thin plates are made from rubberized plastic and run $14.99 each from IWI (for people hawking enormously expensive bullpups, they’re surprisingly reasonable about spares). My plan is to chop a chunk of aluminum or even rock maple into a length-extending top hook, inset a couple of screw inserts, then run small bolts through the butt plate into my cheater block. I’ll cover the whole thing with black heat shrink to keep a clean look.

If I get around to it, this little project should accomplish three goals. One, it will shrink my rifle for all practical purposes, while technically maintaining legal length. Two, it will give me one more thing to dink around with during this interminable viral lockdown.

Three, and most importantly, it will make me giggle.

Out of deeply felt personal incorrigibility, I might or might not already have installed the feloniously flat plate for a few minutes, just to experience what federal crime feels like. Probably not, though, and don’t tell anyone.

What else might I fiddle with? Well, the $350 Super Sabra trigger pack from Geissele seems as redundant as it is expensive – the X95 Tavor carries a vastly upgraded mechanism, relative to the crushing pull required for its predecessor, the Tavor SAR. I tried that trigger in a gun shop, and it was like trying to prize open a snapping turtle’s beak. Although still more a combat bang switch than a target trigger, X95s measure at around half the weight of a SAR.

Still may pop for Geissele’s “Lightning Bow” trigger, though, just to dial out most of the novella-length takeup.

IWI offers the option of switching out their swashbuckling “cutlass grip” for the pistol grip preferred by Israeli special operators, as well as grip panels that are slotted instead of pebbled to offer security when your palms are sweaty (for instance, if you happened to find yourself operating in a desert near the Mediterranean coastline). I’m not in any great hurry to do this for the same reason I haven’t ordered MagPul’s MBUS flip-up sights: I need to shoot it as-built before I fix what is likely not broken. If I needed it to feel and run just like an AR-15, I could have saved close to four figures by buying an AR in the first place.

Our buddies at Manticore Arms make a charging handle that alertly parks itself out of the way every time the bolt slams home. I’m attracted to it for the same reason people peel the plastic chrome off new cars – it just looks cleaner.

Manticore also makes a nice ambidextrous safety which, like gas sealing, frankly should have come stock from the factory.

The initial excuse for my carbine was quickly freighted with the additional burden of entertaining my adolescent world-building fantasies (and I should really get back to making furniture, which I’m frankly better at than fettling guns). Believe it or not, I aim to keep the overall package reasonably sleek, respecting the Wiley Clapp ethic of “everything you need, and nothing that you don’t.”

But then “need” can sure become a subjective and temporary judgment. Perfection ever flees at her lover’s course approach.

So on it goes, just like with Legos and dirt bikes and shop tools and jeeps. There’s always one more thing to tinker at and if there isn’t, we’ll find one. Ask any man who never outgrew tuning hot rods, creating worlds around Lionel trains, or organizing a warehouse wall lined with color-matched rollaways in a cellar shop two floors beneath the Lego Museum. The male monkey remains an inveterate fiddler. Against all practical sense, men will not be stopped from racing chain saws, stocking bug-out rigs, and re-programming our smart watches to open the garage door.

We control our recreational world – the part of life that matters, where imagination capers carelessly over responsibility’s grindstoned snout – by commissioning, refining, tearing apart, and rebuilding systems in the evanescent image of our dreams.

G-d help me if I ever buy a boat.


A great story, Jake, and thanks very much for sharing it with us.  When you get to the range with your new Tavor, we want to hear how it shoots!


Read more gun stuff on the ExhaustNotes Tales of the Gun page!