Gear – Page 13 – The ExhaustNotes Blog

A 1%er Moon Watch

In line with our editorial policy featuring luxury goods with outlandish prices, a few weeks ago we posted a blog on the Longines perpetual moon phase automatic watch. That’s an item with what is euphemistically referred to as “prestige” pricing, which most folks would simply call overpricing (you know, like most motorcycle dealers’ freight and setup fees). The Longines is a lofty $3550, although our blog post pointed out you could find them for less if you poked around on the Internet. I did, and my best price so far was a scant $2250, which is still way too rich for my blood. Hell, you could buy a used Sportster for that kind of money.

Now, don’t get me wrong…if you want to buy the Longines watch, by all means we think you should. In fact, we think you should buy it through this Amazon Longines link, because then Gresh and I would get a cut. I have no idea how much (we’ve never helped to sell anything that pricey through our Amazon affiliates program), but it would be cool to find out.

But that’s not the point of this blog. If you read that earlier Longines blog and the comments that you, or esteemed readership, posted to it, you will see that none other than our good buddy Terry commented that he might consider the watch if it also showed the tides.

The tides.

Hmmm. That tickled a long-dormant neuron buried among the other neurons between my ears. They’re mostly focused on Weatherbys, Royal Enfields, SIGs, RCBS reloading gear, Baja, Michelle Pfeiffer, and God only knows what else is swimming around in there. The tides. I vaguely remembered seeing something about a watch that does, indeed, show the tides, so I went on Amazon, looked, and what do you know: The Casio moon phase and tides digital watch you see at the top of this blog appeared. Wowee!

What got my attention immediately was the price: $22.50. Could it be? A Casio watch that actually does way more than the Longines watch, but sells for a scant $22.50? That’s exactly one percent of the lowest discounted price I could find for the Longines watch! $22.50!

Hey, I couldn’t resist. I’m wearing my new Casio moon phase and tides watch as I type this blog. $22.50, and because I’m an Amazon Prime member, I didn’t even have to pay for shipping! Go Bezos!

There are just so many things that are cool about this Casio watch I almost don’t know where to begin. Yep, it shows you the tides. That waveform in the lower left quadrant of the watch face has a darkened section that shows you were the tide is at that instant. It goes through a complete cycle every 24 hours, just like the real tides do. And there’s the moon phase. That’s the little circle in the lower right quadrant (it darkens in arcs to show you what the moon is doing that day). All this for $22.50. And the Casio has a dual time feature…you can set a different time zone and switch to it instantly, although this feature is kind of weird…the “other” time is whatever you want it to be, not some exact number of hours different from where you are. It kind of reminded of a Chinese hotel we stayed in once where they had a bunch of clocks on the back wall showing different times at other locations in the world, but nobody had maintained them and they were comically different.

Ah, but I digress…back to the Casio. It has a stopwatch and a countdown feature. I can set it to military time or a normal 12-hour time. It has an alarm clock. And a backlight, so I can use it to find my way to the bathroom at night without waking up my wife or tripping on the way there. And (get this) it has a 10-year battery! Did I mention it goes for only $22.50?

More good news: As you have already seen in the photo a few paragraphs up, you can get the same Casio watch in blue, and the blue Casio goes for only $20.48. I’m tempted to buy one, but hey, I’m not made out of money.

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A Conspiracy

The story goes something like this: I tend not to upgrade things until I have to. I’m convinced there’s conspiracy at the highest levels between the software companies, the computer companies, and maybe the government to force us into upgrading things that 25 or 30 years ago we didn’t even need. I thought I had taken a huge leap into the future when I bought my first cell phone. It quickly was obsoleted numerous times and then I thought I was absolutely state of the art when I bought an iPhone 6s just a few years ago. Wow, that thing had features. A phone like that, I thought, might last me the rest of my life.

You read the blog a ways back about me getting down to one motorcycle. I sold the RX3 and the TT250 and got good money for them. Geico, my insurance company, told me I would get a refund for the unused portion of my policy because I had sold the two bikes. I knew it wouldn’t be much, because my annual premium for all three bikes (the RX3, the TT250, and my Royal Enfield) was only $77. It wasn’t; I received a check in the mail for $25.

You might wonder why I switched from talking about conspiracies and cell phones to motorcycles. Bear with me; this is where it gets interesting. A couple of years ago I started depositing checks using my iPhone 6s. It had a cool banking app that basically took a picture of your check and saved a trip to the bank. The 6s did that well, although the last time I used it, it told me I needed to update my software. I didn’t. Screw this upgrade stuff. It was working okay and I don’t intimidate easily.

Except when I tried to deposit this last check from Geico, the phone wouldn’t do it. It told me who’s the boss. Time’s up. You need to update your software from ios 12.5 to ios 13.0. So I tried, but then when I went into the 6s settings, it told me I already had the latest software. A bit more digging, and the conspiracy I alluded to above became obvious. A 6s can only go up to ios 12.5 I needed to get a new phone to go to ios 13.0. Sonuvabitch. They got me again.

Okay, so I shopped around online, which is pretty much how I do everything these days, and within minutes I was confused by all the iPhone options. Gresh did a blog last year about upgrading his iPhone and at the time, I think he got whatever was the latest and greatest from Apple. I did the same and I ended up with an iPhone 12 Pro, which is about the same size as my old 6s but a little heavier. After screwing around backing everything up to the Cloud (it was the first time I ever used the Cloud) and then downloading it to my new phone, I was in business again. I tried the banking app, it worked, and that’s when it hit me: I had just spent $1300 for a new phone so I could deposit a $25 check.

The 12 Pro has more features than I’ll ever need, or use, and you and I both know that within another two or three years it will be obsolete. But the new camera feature is kind of cool. It has a wide angle, a portrait, and a close up lens (which they designate as 0.5, 1.0, and 2.5 on the camera app). I’ve just started playing with it.

On a walk around the neighborhood, I grabbed that wide-angle shot of the ’54 Caddy Fleetwood you see at the top of this blog, and I shot another with the portrait lens of my Colt Python and five rounds of hollow-point .357 Mag ammo below.

The camera in the 12 Pro is good, and it looks like it might be a little better than the camera in the 6s I retired. The images are still only 72 dpi, which is okay for blogging and other Internet stuff, but not for print publication. But it’s not bad, and it might eliminate the need to lug my Nikon around. I like using the Nikon, though, so I’ll probably still take it with me on my adventures.

I suppose I could start studying all the new features on my iPhone, but I’m not going to bother. By the time I make a dent in doping out everything on the 12 Pro, it will be obsolete.

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Phavorite Photos: A Cantonese Monkey

Another favorite photo, and as you can see, it’s a bit unusual. This was a young chimp in the Guangzhou zoo about a dozen years ago. I was there on a secret mission and we wanted to do something on the weekend. One of my Chinese contacts told me there were two zoos in Guangzhou…the big one and the little one. The big one was outside the city limits and the little one was in the center of town, so we opted to stay in town. I didn’t think the zoo was little at all (it was at least as big as the LA zoo), and I caught a lot of great photos there. This one was of a young chimp who seemed as interested in us as we were in him.

The photo makes it look like the chimp is just about to take something (or maybe give something) to the young lady reaching out to him. I had my old Nikon D200 and the similar-era Nikkor 24-120 lens (two boat anchors, to be sure, but they worked well), along with a cheap polarizer that eliminated reflections. There was a piece of inch-thick plexiglass between us and the chimp, and I took a bunch of photos playing with the polarizer and my position to get the angle right so the glass barrier would disappear. I think I succeeded.

Two earlier favorite photos, one in Bangkok and the other in Death Valley. You can click on either to get to the story that goes with each.

ExNotes Hasty Conclusions: Aftermarket Yamaha RD 350 Brake Caliper

This brake caliper represents a tectonic shift in my thinking. I’ve always rebuilt rather than buy new because rebuilding is less expensive. And that’s still true, sort of. The shift comes from my adding personal time into the value equation. Until recently I’ve never given my time a fair shake when it comes to fixing things. I mean, I’ve always had plenty of time, you know? But as I slip into the golden years, those final few moments of a fleeting existence that only the lucky few get to enjoy, I’ve begun to budget how I spend the remains of the day. “He Rebuilt Brake Calipers” is not what I want on the tiny, polka-dot ceramic frog that holds my ashes.

The new-to-me RD 350’s front brake is not working. Reports from Deet in Raleigh indicate the fluid is gone or the master cylinder piston is stuck in the bore. There is no resistance at the lever, futile or otherwise. I’m pretty well snowed under with self-induced projects at Tinfiny Ranch so after adding up a seal kit ($20), brake pads ($20), and the little Yamaha emblem, along with shiny new chrome hardware, this complete and new caliper at $117 seems like a fair deal if you deduct the hours it will take me to make the old caliper as sweet as the new caliper.

Vintage purists will freak out, “It’s not OEM!” they’ll cry. “Chinese junk,” they’ll type on their Chinese electronics. Look, I don’t like those purist bastards anyway. The non-stock master cylinder will really get them going. It’s a generic unit that is nothing like the original unit but I want to take the RD for a spin and this $20 master cylinder is the fastest way to get on the road. Since an OEM aftermarket copy is not available I plan to rebuild the original master cylinder when I get time. There’s that word again: Time.

For $137 I have a mostly new brake system. Going the rebuild route would end up costing around $70 and that wouldn’t include the new chrome hardware or the aluminum Yamaha caliper insignia. Keep clicking on ExhaustNotes.us and we shall see if the time saved was worth the extra money spent.

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Books

That photo above? My good buddy JBFLA posted it on the Chinariders.net forum a few years ago along with the following comments:

I finally received Moto Baja. Another good read by Joe Berk. At 116 pages of light reading with lots of photos, it can probably be read in one sitting. It took me 3 sittings, with time spent perusing the excellent photos, and my mind wandering…imagining a ride to Baja…..and being chased by wild dogs.

Seeing that comment again got me to thinking about what the next book might be. I have the urge to write. I just have to decide about what.

My two favorite topics? Motorcycles and guns. I’m thinking about a gun book, as I’m about tapped out on riding books. Maybe a photo book featuring fancy walnut gunstocks. The problem with a photo book, though, is that it cries out for color and books printed in color get expensive fast. And expensive books don’t sell.

Fancy walnut on a .257 Weatherby Ruger No. 1.

We’ve done a lot of stories on gun stuff here on the blog; maybe a collection of favorite stories with just a few photos might work as a gun book. It would be easy to put together. Another thought is a Mini 14 book. There are a few Mini 14 books out there, but none of them look interesting to me. When we blog about the Mini 14 blog we get a ton of hits. There might be a market for a Mini 14 book.

I’ve been trying to talk Gresh into writing a book. He’s got a ton of good stuff that would work well as a set of collected works. I mean, the man can make a 50-year-old air compressor story interesting. Joe is that rarest of human beings: A writer who sees things most of us miss. And Gresh can describe these things so they become visible to us (and then make us wonder how we missed what Joe makes seem obvious).

Gobi Gresh, in (of course) the Gobi Desert. The Gobi Desert, man!

I’ve been after Gresh to write a book for years. Help me out here, folks.

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Bond. Titanium Bond.

A watch is a personal and emotional purchase, much like a motorcycle or a rifle. By definition, whatever you choose is perfect and the best; what anyone else chooses is not and is somehow indicative of a deep-seated character flaw. I get that.

Having said that, I never got the attraction of an Omega wristwatch. I know some folks love them and if you wear an Omega, more power to you. It’s just not me, which is why I found the attractive young lady pushing the latest Omega at me amusing.

Omega, you see, never misses a marketing opportunity, and their latest product placement achievement is the new Bond movie, No Time To Die. In it, 007 wears a titanium Omega Seamaster. The high end watch store in Palo Alto had a couple of the titanium Bond Omegas in stock, and the young sales lady was attempting what could only be described as a hard sell. She was new to these shores, I think, and evidently convinced that if James Bond wore a titanium Omega, every man in America would want one as well.

“Bond wears,” she kept repeating, as if that was all it would take to get me to plunk down $9800 for an Omega (it would actually take a lot more, like maybe a $9700 discount). Before I realized it, she had unbuckled my Casio Marlin (the best deal in a dive watch ever and one I wear frequently), and she had the titanium Bond on my wrist. She would have made a good pickpocket.

“Bond wears,” she said again.

I wondered if she realized Bond is a fictional character.

The titanium Seamaster was light, almost like a plastic watch. I could barely detect its presence. I didn’t care for the look of the mesh bracelet, but damn, that thing was a feather.

“NATO Bond,” she said, pushing another titanium Bond Seamaster at me, this one with a cloth NATO band. NATO watchbands…that’s another fad I never fell for. They look cheap. I was in the US Army and the only special watchbands I ever saw were the velcro bands paratroopers wear (they tear away if your watch gets caught on the door when exiting an aircraft…you lose your watch but you get to keep your arm, which isn’t a bad deal if you think about it). I’m pretty sure guys in the North Atlantic Treaty Organization don’t actually wear NATO bands, but what do I know?

I like the look of a dive watch and I own a couple of them. My tastes run toward high quality and low cost, so my personal favorites are the Casio Marlin (a watch I’ve written about before) and a Seiko Batman I bought at Costco a few years ago. The Marlin was $39, it keeps superb time, it looks good, and it works well (it’s the watch I wore when I rode through Colombia). The Marlin did just fine in the Andes’ torrential rains. I’ve never tried the Marlin in the deep blue sea, though. I’m not a diver and I really don’t know how well it would work as a dive watch. But I’m not a fictional British secret agent, either, so unlike Daniel Craig I don’t need the titanium Bond watch. If I need external inspiration, I’ll take it elsewhere. Bill Gates wears a Casio Marlin and even though he doesn’t have a blog or a motorcycle, he’s real and he seems to have done okay. But I don’t need to emulate other people. I just wear watches I find appealing.

I asked the young sales lady where she was from and she said Cupertino. No, originally, I asked. “China,” she said. I asked where and she told me (it was a city in Hebei Province), I told her I had been there, and we chatted about the ride Gresh and I did across China. She told me I had been to more places in China than she had. I wore a Timex on that ride, I told her, like Napoleon Solo in The Man from U.N.C.L.E. (the Chinese guys called me Dàshū, which means “big uncle,” so it sort of fit). She laughed, but I’m pretty sure she didn’t know what I was talking about. Sometimes that makes for the best conversations.

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Pandas!

That Seiko watch you see on the right, known informally as “The Panda” in watch collector circles, is perhaps the best watch I’ve ever owned. I bought it at the Kunsan AFB Base Exchange when I was a young Army dude in 1975 for the princely sum of $76, which was a bit of a stretch for me. Oh, I had the bucks. The Army didn’t pay us much, but we didn’t have expenses, either, so $76 was eminently doable. In fact, I bought Seiko stainless steel chronographs from the Base Exchange for my Dad and my grandfather, too. Their watches were only $67, but the Panda had the day and the date on the face, and three timing features: Seconds on the main watch face, minutes on the lower subdial, and hours on the upper subdial. It was a beautiful thing and it was all mechanical. I wore it for about 10 years, and then when Ebay started to get popular I auctioned it away. I was quite pleased with the results. The watch that originally set me back $76 went for just north of $200 on Ebay 30 years ago. Today, though, that same watch brings around $2000. I sold too soon. Go figure.

Anyway, being the watch junkie that I am, I was more than a little intrigued by a very similar watch now being offered by Breitling. It is also an all mechanical watch Breitling calls the “Premier.”

I’d call it a Panda, and I’d sure like to own one. But the Breitling MSRP is a lofty $8500. They are just over $6,000 on Amazon, but that’s still way above my pay grade.

In poking around on the Internet looking at the Breitlings, I learned that they offer several versions of their Premier. One is a model that pays tribute to the Norton motorcycle, which has different colors, old school numbers on the face, and a band that, frankly, looks cheap to me. The colors don’t really work for me, either, but maybe that’s because I want my Panda to look like a panda. If I wanted a Norton motorcycle, I’d buy a Norton.

Seiko is back on the Panda wagon, too, as is Citizen and perhaps others with modern versions of this classic watch design. Their prices are way more reasonable, too, being in the $200 to $300 range. But the new Seiko and Citizen Pandas are solar-powered quartz watches.

There’s nothing wrong with electric watches (in fact, their accuracy is astounding), but I’m a mechanical guy. I own a few solar watches and several battery-powered watches. I like them all. But there’s a certain cachet (a fancy word for cool) associated with a mechanical watch, even if you give up a little accuracy. I would like to wear that Breitling just to pretend I’m still a yuppie, but it’s not gonna happen.

Citizen Nighthawk GMT

Another favorite watch and one I highly recommend: The Citizen Nighthawk GMT watch. I bought mine maybe 25 years ago when this model was first offered as an exclusive through Macy’s. Today you can find them for sale through many different outlets (sometimes below $300). One of the best spots is Amazon.

At 43mm it’s a big watch, but unlike a lot of big watches, it wears well on my wrist and doesn’t seem to want to roll around. The Nighthawk has a lot of features, some of which I use on a regular basis and others that I use infrequently. I like them whether I use them or not. Watches are grown-up boy’s toys, and this one answers the mail for me. There’s the standard date display at 3:00, there’s the slide rule (explained in an earlier blog on my first-gen Citizen Blue Angels watch), there’s the GMT feature (more on that in a second), there’s the Eco-Drive engine, and there’s a lume to this thing that just doesn’t quit.

That photo above? I shot it with my iPhone in the dark a night or two ago, and other than cropping, it’s not been tweaked in PhotoShop. The lume really is that bright and legible at night. You can’t read by it, but you almost can. It’s the brightest lume I’ve ever seen on a watch. It’s so bright I sometimes wonder what it might be doing to me. Wearing this watch might be the equivalent of living in Chernobyl for a month.

The GMT feature (GMT stands for Greenwich Mean Time) is one that allows you to simultanously see the time in two time zones. This is one I use when I’m traveling (especially overseas). Unlike other GMT watches, the Citizen’s approach is to offer another hand and a dial printed on the watch face. It’s that half-circle deal you see with red and white lettering on the inner left half of the dial. The way this works is when you are in, say, China, you unscrew the watch stem, click it halfway out, and advance the hour hand so it shows the time in China (it’s usually a 13-hour difference). To see the time back home, you use the that inner half-moon dial and the home watch hand. The home watch hand is the small hand (with a red aircraft on one end and a white aircraft on the other end), and it continues to show the time back in California. You read the p.m. time on the red scale with the red airplane, and the a.m. time on the white scale scale with the white airplane. It’s all very clever.

Citizen has had this watch available in one form or another for a couple of decades now. Mine is the original version, and it’s the one I probably wear most often. The Eco-Drive feature works, and it works well with just about any kind of light. When I’m not wearing this watch, it sits on a shelf in my office, and the artificial light in there is enough to keep it percolating. I set the watch to the time.gov NIST site, and months later, it is still accurate to the second with the official US government time.

The most recent versions of this watch are a black-faced version with an OD green leather band, or an all black version with a black leather band. I saw the OD green version in a Macy’s up north this past week, and it’s a good looking piece.

Here’s the blacked out version.

Citizen’s had a lot of mileage with their Blue Angels themed watches, and that treatment has been applied to their GMT in stainless steel and leather band versions.

The two Blue Angels versions immediately above are not in current production, but they are still available. I like this watch so much I’m tempted to buy the Blue Angels version, too, but that would be excessive even for a watch guy like me.

In general, I prefer a steel band watch to a leather band. I like the look of the leather band better, but leather bands wear out or get dirty within a year or two. Then you can’t always find an exact replacement for the original leather band. I tend to wear a watch 24-7 (including in the shower), so a leather band is not the way I typically go with a watch.

Oh, one other advantage to these watches: I sometimes forget to take my Citizen Nighthawk off going through airport security, and for whatever reason, it doesn’t trigger the metal detector.

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ExhaustNotes Product Review: Cooper 2 Lightweight Tent

Camping on a motorcycle has never been near the top of my Fun Things To Do list. Like it or not, it seems I end up camping on a motorcycle more than is needed for strong bones and healthy fingernails. Street bike camping is tolerable because you can pile junk sky high but trail riding with a load of camping gear is a chore. Off-road, small lightweight equipment is the way to go. I’ll never admit it but it’s possible to go too small and too lightweight. My tent is an example of going overboard.

I’ve been using an old-style pup tent, like the Boy Scouts use, and when folded correctly the thing is admirably small. The pup tent reduces to the size of a bag of Batdorf & Bronson coffee and weighs next to nothing.

The problem with the pup is the ceiling height and the square footage. There’s no way to sit up in the thing, you have to crawl in and out. Once you’ve stored all your gear inside finding space for you body is a challenge. If you toss and turn throughout the night like I do your arms will be hitting the walls and roof. It’s a tight squeeze.

Unless you buy brand name equipment camping gear is really cheap, like me. I found a larger tent; the Cooper 2 (no relation to the road racing legend) for $28 on Amazon and shipping was included.

The Cooper 2 is easy to set up as it has only two fiberglass poles crossing in the middle. You fit the ends into the corners of the floor and bowing the poles raises the tent. Nearly 50-inches high at the center and with 49 square feet of floor space the Cooper 2 was huge. I could stuff all my gear inside and still have room for my sleeping bag. I could easily change into my Space Patrol pajamas with the privacy those pajamas demand. You know how it is.

The Cooper 2 is vented at the top, which kept condensation to a minimum. I didn’t get to test it in the rain but I suppose it will do as well as any other 28-dollar tent. I set up my sleeping bag towards the back of the tent and had plenty of room to throw elbows and kick out from under the covers. It was the best night’s sleep I’ve had in a tent. Which is to say I woke up cotton-mouthed, fingers bleeding and a dead raccoon next to me.

All that luxury comes at a price, however. Folded up, the Cooper 2 is nearly twice as large as the pup tent and weighs 4 pounds 9 ounces compared to the pup’s 3 pounds 4 ounces. Still, the extra tonnage is worth it to me. I’ll just have to get rid of some other gear to compensate for the Cooper 2 tent, like maybe the handlebars or the front wheel of the Husqvarna.

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How Much Milk Is Left?

A few weeks ago I read a Wall Street Journal opinion piece by Peter Funt (of the Candid Camera show). His article was on the pandemic lockdowns and isolation inducing more folks to publish their memoirs, and Funt made the case that this was not such a good thing. Most memoirs are God-awful boring.

That got me to thinking about the adventure touring genre. You know, the books, blogs, videos, and endless Facebook posts and forums about adventure rides.

Adventure rides.

We used to call a motorcycle ride a motorcycle ride. Now they are all “adventure” rides. And we don’t tell a story or do a bike test. Now, it’s a reveal. Harley is going to introduce a new bike in few days. But it’s not a new model announcement. It’s a “reveal.”

Ten to twenty years ago, the place to go to read good riding stories was ADVRider.com and their Rides page (back then, the stories and photography were actually good) and HorizonsUnlimited.com. Now it’s mostly videos, Facebook, and blogs. There’s too much of this (and I say that as guy who writes a blog). I seldom view any of it. Which is not to say you should stop reading ExNotes. We’re different, you know. We’ve never had a “reveal” (other than that one unfortunate wardrobe accident in China) and we never will.

All of the above begs the question: How much milk is left in the adventure riding cow?

Fads come in waves, and a surefire way to know that a wave is dissipating on shore is when a big company tries to surf in on the little bit of surf that’s left. Witness the Pan America, Harley’s too much, too late entry into the ADV world. Harley wants to compete with the BMW GS, KTM, and Ducati high end ADV bikes.

It’s hard for me to see how Harley is going to prevail. For starters, my feeling is that most folks who ride big V-twin cruisers (folks who form the bulk of Harley’s current customer base) have little interest in adventure touring. The premise is that Harley will attract a new crop of customers, presumably drawing the sheeple who would have bought BMWs, or KTMs, or Ducatis. Color me skeptical, but I just don’t see it happening.

No, what’s happening is a sea change, not an opportunity to do a little surfing in a dying market. The world moves in fads, with each fad having about a ten-to-twenty-year life, and we’re due for a new one. I just don’t know what it is. Consider this:

- In the 1960s, it was British vertical twins. Those were cool years and the Triumphs, BSAs, Nortons, and Enfields of the day were cool bikes.
- In the 1970s and the 1980s, it was Japanese machines (the so-called UJMs). Honda’s 750 Four had five gears, and that fifth one was for the paradigm shift that swallowed the British empire and made us wonder if maybe Japan won World War II after all. Four cylinders across the frame, with differences between manufacturers that could only be described as trivial. The UJMs were kind of cool, too, but not as cool as the Britbikes (at least to my way of thinking). But the Britbikes were toast, destined to emerge two decades down the road as the darlings of a small but well published vintage motorcycle market niche (and in case you missed it, that was a plug for Motorcycle Classics magazine).
- In the 1990s, it was Harleys and all that went with it. You know, middle aged guys becoming pirates and bikes festooned with chrome, leather fringe, and conchos. I was one of them for awhile and I had everything but the tattoos. Bikes that people with more money than brains bought (often paying over MSRP) so they could don do-rags, denim, and non-DOT helmets, and look pretty much exactly like all the other beer-bellied rugged individualists. I was one of them for a while, too.
- Sportbikes had a good run somewhere in the middle of all this, too, with ergonomics that guaranteed significant incomes for chiropractors and physical therapists, who frequently used that money to pay well over list price for a Harley (see above). Guilty again. You got me. I had a TL1000S, a Triumph Daytona, and a Speed Triple.
- With the turn of the century, the trend migrated toward 650-pound, liter-plus bikes styled like dirt bikes and equipped with electronics rivaling Air Force One. Denim and do-rags were replaced by Power Ranger clothing. Everybody wanted to be Charlie and Ewen, but few could afford the chase trucks and mechanics, and even fewer could handle one of the bloated beasts off road. Most adorned driveways and Starbuck’s parking lots. I mean, the headlight lenses on some of these things cost $1800; no way anyone was taking those wunderbikes into the woods. I’m sort of guilty here. I had a Triumph Tiger. I took it off road just once and it was terrifying.

I think we are fast approaching the last throes of the overweight off-road $25K-to-$30K wannabee adventure bikes and their thousand-dollar Aerostitch-wearing riders…you know, the guys who stand on the pegs even when riding on level asphalt. (Sit down, guys…your “sell by” date flew by years ago and I’ll say what everyone else is thinking: You look silly.)

So what’s next?

Electric motorcycles? Nope, I don’t think that’s going to happen in any major way. Alta is gone, Zero is struggling, and the Livewire may have already suffered electrocution as a consequence of Harley’s rewiring. Electric bikes don’t sound like motorcycles, the range is not there (it’s not going to be any time soon), and I think a motorcycle without an internal combustion engine really isn’t a motorcycle at all. So what will be the next big moto thing?

Self-driving motorcycles? Nope. Dead on arrival, I think.

Even more “mode complexity” on street bikes? Probably not. That sort of thing appeals to juvenile minds (ones susceptible to Jedi mind tricks). I think even the easily-led characters mentioned above recognize this as too gimmicky. I once had a pimply faced kid ask me at one of the IMS shows how many modes our imported-from-China 250cc ADV bike had, and I told him: Two. On, and off. He nodded knowingly, as if I had let him in on a great secret, and wandered off toward the Ducati booth.

I think the ADV thing is going to dry up, even though we are still seeing sales upticks in the motorcycle market. Sort of. ADV-style bike trends have been up, but it always was a relatively small market segment and the current increase (most likely the result of the “more free stuff” crowd rocking Washington these days) appears to be big but actually is not. Dirt bike sales are up, but that’s for off road dirt bikes only. Street bike sales are down about 10%. And that thing about motorcycle sales overall going up? Yeah, it is, but it’s mostly ATVs (of the 4-wheel persuasion, which are included in the motorcycle sales figures). One bit of actual data, and that is this: CSC can’t keep bikes in stock. They sell out as soon as they arrive. But CSC delivers real value at a very reasonable price…I don’t know that I ever saw an RX-Anything with conchos and fringe. And CSC motorcycles are definitely not $25K driveway bling. Yeah, the big bike ADV thing is fast approaching its “sell by”date, I think. The fat lady is singing, folks. It’s almost over.

So, given that the ADV milk is drying up, the next big thing will be…

Hell, I don’t know.

What do you think? You guys figure it out and let me know. And if you think you know, leave a comment here. Curious minds want to know.